


Gunbitch

by Paintthebrain



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), QTWD, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alicia Clark will end you if you touch her chewy granola bars, F/F, Flurror?, Gore, Like who gives a fuck about health food in the apocalypse, Nom nom on tim tams and butterfingers, Not Elyza, Probably a little bit more fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sailing, She pissed that there is no produce left, Smut, So much horror, Some Fluff, graphic depictions of blood, killing the dead, qtwd - Freeform, smoot, wise-cracking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paintthebrain/pseuds/Paintthebrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elyza Lex has always been a little bit 'ride or die'. Motorcycles, sailboats, beautiful women. The apocalypse is only a minor inconvenience to her.<br/>Alicia Clark has always been an over-achieving, ambitious sassmaster. To her, the  apocalypse really fucking sucks. Everything she's worked for, all of her goals and dreams are gone. Now her only ambition is to make it through each day. And she's not really sure why.</p><p>When they meet, Elyza learns to think of someone other than herself again. And Alicia. Well, Alicia continues to overachieve. In sass. Oh and she rediscovers that life is about more than just surviving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They Meet.
> 
> Warning: The characters from FtWD that I hate are going to die. Bet you’ll be able to tell by the end of the chapter who I hate the most.

The waves lapped against the hull as Alicia steered the conversation towards a less dismal topic. “I think the stars are beautiful this evening.” Chris and Nick sat on the opposite of the deck. Both tilted their head up to the sky. “That’s one bonus of the apocalypse. No more light pollution.”

Chris laid back on the built-in bench, put his hands behind his head and interlaced his fingers. “They’ve been gone a long time.” Alicia huffed at his attempt to change the conversation back.

Alicia threw him her best condescending tone. “It’s fine. They’ve been gone this long before. Probably just had to change their plans a bit. Nothing to worry about.” Nick knelt down and spread out like a star fish on the deck returning his eyes to the sky.

“Being out here away from it all sometimes I forget that there even was an apocalypse.” He didn’t mean anything by it, but Alicia couldn’t help but feel a pang of grief. Of course, Nick would forget. He didn’t have anything to lose. Alicia lost it all. Her hope to get away from this town. To get away from this fucked up family, but no. No. Fate, as cruel as it was, not only took all of that from her, but it also assured she couldn’t leave her family without risk of immediate death. Alicia still tried to find the positives. Some sort of motivation or ambition. But all she could find was the stars in the sky and savoring the occasional Clif bar. Ambition was a thing of the past.

They all laid there in silence for a few more moments as the waves continued to break against the ship and the sound of a bell ringing softly on a border buoy the only thing to break up the monotony. There was also the collective rumble of the undead that rose up from the shore and fell on them. It was a pitch that left the city with a hum similar to what had been when it was filled with the living. Only now the sound was caused by snarls and snorts instead of the thrum of engines and people buzzing about their meaningless lives.

Through that rumble comes a caustic roar. It is positively deafening. Everyone turns their head to the shore. A single headlight speeding along the coastal highway. It’s too dark to see the driver or anything else really. But it is definitely a motorcycle. Alicia rolls her eyes, “What kind of idiot would scoot around on a 1000 pound walker attractor?”

Her shipmates must have thought it was a rhetorical question because they just stood up and headed inside to where Strand was relaxing, reading a book. Alicia continued to sit on the deck and watch the headlight disappear near the marina. “What the fuck?” Now, she is passed annoyed because what if this dumdum attracted a crowd of walkers to where her parents and the Salazar’s are docked.

“Hey, I’m going for a ride,” she calls out through the glass into the cabin. Nick nods and mouths be safe. Alicia holds up a life vest. The brunette teen rushes to the bow of the ship and unhooks the Jet Ski they acquired about 2 months after the world went to shit. So, she had about 3 weeks experience with the machine. It had been the only other source of joy besides the stars and Clif bars.

She heads to where she last saw the members of her group disappear out of sight when the sun was high in the sky. It takes her about 10 minutes. When she arrives, she swerves around the dingy in half moon shapes looking for any signs of why they weren’t back.

She pulls a flashlight out of the storage compartment of her jet ski. Half of the dinghy is deflated. “Oh. So much for the finer things, eh, Strand. Buy a big ass boat and skimp on the life boat.” She had half a mind to chuckle at her own joke. Maybe if half her group wasn’t now stranded in a life or death situation. She quickly calls out each of their name in turn. Just enough that she could be heard from the immediate area, but not enough to attract a large amount of walkers.

Hearing nothing, but those incessant fucking waves on the shore, she whips the wave runner around prepared to head back to the boat to tell the others of the predicament. But before she can rev the engine, movement catches her eye. It’s probably just a walker, but just in case she shines the light in its direction. The beam is soft against the figure, but she could make out Travis’ mustard colored shirt from a thousand yards.

“Hey, Travis.” He nods. She pulls the wave runner to shore, hops off, and rushes toward him. “Where’s my mom and the others?” As she approaches him she realizes he didn’t nod at her. It was a reflex at seeing fresh meat. “Oh shit. Travis?” She knew what the virus did to people. She knew that, just like Soso, Travis was gone, but that didn’t stop the humanity in her from telling her other wise. The knee jerk reaction to help. Green, black blood oozes from the wound at his shoulder staining the side of his stupid shirt. She feels tears in her eyes as he gets closer to her.

He’s shuffling, but picking up speed, his arms and hands stretch forward. Arms that held her mother, hands that aided in the creation of a hundred dinners, and both arms and hands working in tandem to throw a baseball back and forth with Chris. She wasn’t sure she liked Travis until this moment, when she realized she no longer had him. She was just about to turn and run back to the jet ski when she hears a familiar caustic roar. Coming down the board walk full speed at them.

The single head light ablaze illuminating Travis from behind. Alicia can barely make out what is happening. But she sees the telltale sign of his body responding to impact as the motorcycle speeds ahead past him towards her. The assailant stops in front of her and slings a shotgun around a leather-clad shoulder. Alicia is stunned with all the information she has to process. And that is only magnified when the rider removes a dark green helmet with a gold gear emblazoned on the side. Blonde hair shakes out from underneath it.

Alicia finds her voice and she hides the tears the threatening to spill out with snark, “You’re the one,” she says gesturing to the motorbike. In the dark Alicia can only see the other woman’s condescending smirk. It’s infuriating. “You’re gonna get us all killed driving that thing near the shore.”

The smirk deepens and a glint appears in the blonde’s deep blue eyes. “You’re the one that’s gonna get us both killed if you don’t hop on.” She gestures towards the wave runner where 3 walkers have appeared and are creeping towards them. “Come on, Gorgeous. I’ll take you to my safe spot and you can come back for it later.”

Alicia assesses the situation quickly. Trust is a rare commodity in the apocalypse, but she doesn’t have much of a choice. Alicia throws a leg over the stupid hunk of machinery and the Blonde stuffs the helmet over her mahogany curls ignoring the protest. “Safety first,” the girl tsks before tapping the helmet securely and then pulling Alicia’s arms around her.

“Drive!” Alicia screams through the helmet.

* * *

 

* * *

[Click here to TUMBLE](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/paintthebrain) with me.

  * Behind the scenes: Yep, you guessed it. I hate Travis.
  * Fun Fact: Smoot is how I say smut.
  * Fun Fact: Titles for chapters are from the song A Favor House Atlantic by Coheed and Cambria
  * Special thanks to whatever genius or geniuses that created the amazing character known as Elyza Lex
  * I hope you have fun with this.



Stay Awesome!

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	2. Your Eyes Tell the Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a safe place.

Alicia cannot wait to rip off that stupid fucking helmet. It contains a wide variety of scents and sensations that unnerve the brunette and had assaulted her senses for the last 30 minutes. She launches herself off of the motor cycle as soon as they come to a stop and removes it with such force that her hair remains behind with the suction. A few strands rip themselves from her scalp, but it is a small price to be pay to be free of the perplexing smells. Blood, sweat, and the tiniest hint of cologne. She throws it at the blonde still seated on the bike.

The biker receives it with a huff. “Well, you _are_ feisty then?”

“It wasn’t obvious before?” Alycia asks with disdain

“There wasn’t much time to make head canons, luv. Busy trying to get the hell away from them raging chompers.” Alicia can feel the blonde’s eyes on her, pressing against the darkness seeking more information. Alicia turns away. Toward the water. Not wanting to give the blonde anything to go on. And in all honesty, if she is waiting for Alicia to say thank you for ‘rescuing’ her, she’d be waiting until the world had righted itself and the living were at the top of the food chain again.

“Well, we wouldn’t have to worry about them raging chompers,” Alicia says imitating her accent with gutsy flare for emphasis “if you didn’t bring them all there with you ridiculous crotchrocket.” The blonde throws her a thumbs up and a hint of a smile as she dismounts the bike and begins to guide it down a wooden dock.

Ignoring the sarcastic hand gesture and the smile that might possibly be endearing if this were another time or place, Alicia quickly scans the immediate area. There is not much information to gather due to the lack of light, but she manages to deduce that they are in another marina. It is smaller and the water is more still than the one her family had been anchored near. Which means it is deeper. A fact made obvious when the blonde nears the end of the dock where a medium sized sailboat bobs with the gentle waxing and waning of the incoming tide. Behind them, across the dusty path that doubles as a road, is a sandy cliff about 100 meters tall. It is a nice harbor, remote and hard to get to. Seemingly untouched by the calamity of the world ending. As safe as anything thing she’s seen so far and Alicia knows she should say that this leather-clad asshole did a good thing. But she would never confirm any truth of that notion to the blonde.

“Where the hell are we,” she says loudly as she turns accusatory to the as yet unnamed woman.

“My safe spot.”

“Which is where?”

“About 25 miles up the coast from where we were.”

“And why would you bring me here?”

The blonde looks at her quizzically as if the answer could not be more obvious, “because it’s safe.” She left the brunette standing on concrete ramparts, moving toward the dock. “As safe as anything can be these days. Should I not have brought you here? Are you into dangerous things then?” And she throws a flirty smirk over her shoulder as she continues to push her bike into the obscure.

Alicia rolls her eyes. Choosing not to dignify that ridiculous attempt at flirting with an answer.

“So do you have a name?” The biker asks as the tempestuous brunette made quick strides on creaky planks to catch up with her.

“Alicia.” It was matter of fact. A statement made for the sake of purpose. It was not an introduction. Introductions implied the start of interactions. And Alicia didn’t want to get to know this vicious killer. She just wanted to go home. Home. As if she actually had one of those.

The blonde set the kick stand on the motor cycle. And turned to the brunette. “Ok, then Alicia.” Her blue eyes are resplendid even in the night, and they glow with a gleam that comes only from knowing more than one should. Like she knows what Alicia wants even though she has said nothing. Alicia finds herself threatening to smile. But the connection only lasts for a second as the blonde makes a quick graceful leap onto the sailboat. She hears scraping as the woman disappears for a second and reappears with a large sturdy gang plank. “Here.” Alicia hears the heavy metal on metal sounds before she registers what is happening. “Set this on the dock,” the blonde orders.

Alicia has half a mind to turn and walk directly back into the apocalypse. To forget she ever met this idiot. Whatever her name was. She didn’t want to know it anyway. This is stupid. Why hadn’t she said her name? It was only polite. The fucker is going to make Alicia ask for it. No way in hell she was doing that. “The name’s Elyza, but if you’re lucky I’ll let you call me Ely.”

And for the second time in 2 minutes the blonde read her thoughts. “E-lie?” She says half in exasperation at the blondes almost telepathic abilities and half in her desperate need to strive for the perfect annunciation.

“Yeah. Rolls off the tongue a bit easier during coital bliss, luv.”

A scoff of playful disgust escapes Alicia. She sneaks a look as this rapscallion Aussie and sees the cocky smirk as she struts down the ramp they just lowered together.

Alicia has a comeback. A snappy retort. She has something witty to say that will put this idiot in her place. But it doesn’t get past the launch sequence. It gets aborted as the words and insinuation hit Alicia like a sexy ton of bricks. Oh. Ohhh. If I’m lucky. Do I want to be lucky? No. Stop. This. Resume the sass attack. 5,4,3,2… She settles for the tried and true, “You wish.” A staple for any sarcastic teenager.

“You bet your snarky arse I do.” Elyza gives her a half-cocked smile and Alicia feels unease slipping into her core. The blonde approaches her and doesn’t alter her course as she gets closer to Alicia who is standing in front of the bike. Alicia is forced to step out of the way to allow the blonde through. Giving up what little of the upper hand she had. It was either that or let the blonde invade her space. She’s already invaded too much.

Elyza takes hold of the handle bars and releases the kickstand. She pushes the bike up the gangplank, down the starboard deck, and fastens it securely to the gunwale at the stern. When she’s finished her ministrations she throws a hand out across the ramps and says, “Well, are you coming or not?” Alicia dismisses the hand and in a mirror of Elyza’s earlier display she struts up the plank and settles in the copilot seat. The biker turns and stands with a furrowed brow and smile.

“Well, are you coming?” Alicia says with pursed lips and head cocked.

“In whatever way you wish, princess.” For some reason Alicia finally finds Elyza’s accent charming. And she fucking hates that she likes it. Because the less attachment the better in the apocalypse. Less to recover from. And if she was being honest, even before the apocalypse she subscribed to the idea that less is more when it came to people in general.

Silence expands as the last syllable Elyza utters disappears into the darkness. The night is growing deeper and darker with each passing second, her beloved stars tearing into the gloom. Out of the corner of her eye Alicia see the blonde shift forward and begin to tinker with the dials and controls at the helm. She then rises and lights a single lantern on the mast in front and between them. In the warm light, her thoughts turn to Travis. Lying dead. On the pavement. If her mother returns she will see his life less, mangled body.

“That man you killed,” she doesn’t mean to say it. Doesn’t mean to voice her sadness, but so many thoughts are compounding in her head, and so far this buxom Aussie has taken everything Alicia has thrown at her, literally and figuratively.

Elyza continues to move around the boat, “He wasn’t a man.”

Alicia can’t help the quavering in her voice, “He was to me.” And Alicia connects their eyes. The blonde has stopped in the middle of pulling on rigging and stares at her. With pretty blue eyes. And Alicia is going to lose it. In front of this asshat with the pretty eyes. She stands and moves to stern. Staring down the shore across the water.

Travis had kind eyes. No matter how much she resented his presence in her life, she knew him being there wasn’t his fault. It was only possible because her father left. And she remembers the other pairs of brown eyes in her life. Matt. Susu. Travis loved her out of duty and Matt loved her with mutual respect. Susu loved her simply for existing. And she was made stronger by her presence in her life. She pictures the unending maze in her yard and remembers hours of hide and seek with Nick while Susu made lemonade and sandwiches and waited for them to tire. The soft silt of the California ground rising up around tiny footfalls. In the warm arid summer. Twisting through each dead end. Dodging the outstretched arms of her nefarious sibling. Waiting for her mother to come scoop them up and take them back to the house. And minutes later her father would arrive home with burgers for dinner. It didn’t matter that she was still full on sandwiches. There was always room for hamburgers. Especially hamburgers around the table with her favorite people in the world.

But that was gone. Had been gone long before the dead walked the earth. It disappeared into the California soil just like her tiny foot prints. They evolved into the long narrow foot prints of a teen. Her father left. Nick abandon reality for his beloved chemicals. And her mother folded herself into a stereotype of single mother. She’d lost everything once. And it made her stronger. She traded in burgers for tofu. Sandwiches for rice cakes. Choosing to control what she put in her body because she could not control her life. She put everything she had into school and banking on her future. Telling herself her duty and obligation to her family would one day come to an end.

And she lost her dreams again. And now more loss. She can fight it or make it her own again. Family is not much anymore. It never was. But it is all she has. It’s the only home she knows. Home.

“Are you hungry?” Elyza burst through Alicia’s wanton thoughts with her bulldozing accent. Her look is curious and it draws Alicia in momentarily. There’s something there in those eyes. A thousand stories. A truth. An understanding. Those stupid blue eyes.

“No.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ve got plenty to choose from.”

Alicia just shifts in her seat and looks back out at the ocean. Somewhere south of here, Chris, strand, and nick are probably freaking out. She should just have just gone back to the boat. Then they would have had some resolution tonight. She staring with intent down the coastline, hoping her mom, Daniel, and were safe.

“Don’t worry I’ll take you back to them.”

What the fuck. The first two times Elyza read her mind she could chalk it up to coincidence. But a third time intrigued her to the point that she accidentally broke her vow again not to talk to this dumdum. “How do you fucking do that?”

“Do what?”

“Know what I am thinking?”

“It’s a gaydar upgrade. Not only can I tell you want me, but it downloads your thoughts in to my database.”

Alicia half scoffs, half laughs, “Sorry, I asked, Jerk.”

Elyza just smiles. “So do you do want me then?’

“oh, wait. You’re flirting with me?” Alicia inquires seriously

“I thought it was kind of obvious, Luv. I flirt with pretty girls.”

“Yea, I get that, but like you are _flirting with me._ As if it’s going to work. As if I am gay and this, what you are doing, will make me swoon.”

“You’re saying it doesn’t?”

Alicia releases a patronizing laugh “No. I’m not gay.”

“You sure? No offense, Luv, but have you seen the way you dress. I don’t mean to make

assumptions, but the only way you could but out for a gay bat signal is if you dress like me.”

And their banter is cut short when Alicia remembers a conversation she had with matt a few months before the apocalypse. But it hurts her to think about, so by default she sasses back.

“Uh huh. What is it about the apocalypse that screams ‘wear leather’?”

“It’s practical and sexy.”

“Yea. Ok.”

The silence grows between them again. And Alicia thinks that maybe she could continue their banter a little more when Elyza speaks up.

“Your eyes.” She says

“What?” Alicia is confused.

“You asked me how I can read you.” She shifts a shaky hand through blonde hair and Alicia is slightly endeared by the fact that she looks vulnerable.

“It’s your eyes.”

 


	3. Save Us from Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: JAM-packed with puns

Alicia is awakened by the swaying and sweeping of the boat as it glides, she assumes, through the water. The acerbic sting of citrus lingers on her tongue. She shifts her legs off the small foam rectangle disguised as a mattress, as dreams flit away to remind her of her reality. She is still separated from her family. Even on the Abigail she found it difficult to sleep. Even among people she trusted. But now she is tethered to a human she shouldn’t fucking trust. And she had slumbered like a narcoleptic new born.

Her mind is quickly filled with words and snippets of last night. Your eyes. It had been the only thing sincere blonde had said all evening.

 

* * *

 

They had sat in silence most of the night after Elyza's vulnerable confession. Rather. Alicia sat in silence. Pensively assessing her perplexing partner. (Associate? Compatriot? Accidental allies? Tumor? Unfortunate side effect of the apocalypse? Alicia can’t decide. Hard. Soft. Murder. Protector. She can’t decide anything about this woman.) Alicia studied every clue, possible insight to Elyza's motives as the woman in question made bad jokes and unabashedly flirted with her. Alicia found herself smiling unintentionally at times. But it was quickly wiped away with one of her patented snarky comment which heralded bouts of silence from the smirking blonde that Alicia so desperately needed. She needed the quiet.

To plan. To think. About her mother. And Chris. God Chris. He has lost both of his parents. And Alicia feels a pang of guilt at how much has wanted to escape her mother. And her family. For so long.

She’s not entirely sure what she would do without them if she ever got her childish wish from a lifetime ago. A different world. Well, apparently the first thing on the list is to attach yourself to a wise-cracking, flirtatious lesbian Aussie with a penchant for hyperbole. The blonde fills the silence with ridiculous lies and tall tales. Alicia thinks that she questing for some levity. Chemistry. Something to work with. Alicia still refuses to give in.

She can only throw distrust. The only time Alicia relaxes (after the your eyes comment) is when Elyza wordlessly hands her an orange. Alicia tries not to allow the enthusiasm invade her voice when she asks, “Where did you get that?”

“Orange you gonna thank me?”

“Fuck you.” Which elicits a trademark smirk from the blonde. Alicia begins to peel the tiny citrus gold mind with long dexterous fingers.

“I hope so. I’m bananas for you.” Elyza twists her features into whirlwind of expressions and finishes with comical crossed eyes. Alicia is teetering on explosive laughter, but she just can’t give in. Not yet. Not ever. “Aww come on, Luv. I’m pretty grape in the sack. We’d have a plum good time.” She gives in.

Alicia lets out a sound she didn’t know she could make - a cross between a snort and bellow. When the moose in her throat finally dies she tries to will the blush from her cheeks as she looks up to see Elyza staring at her smugly. Fine. “I pear-ly know you. You’d have to take me on date before you can fig me.”

Elyza laughs. Hard. “Umm. Illusion broken. Yours were awful.”

Alicia can’t help herself. She takes the bait. “Were not. You laughed at them.”

“My puns turned you into a drunk banshee. Like seriously what even was that?”

Throws her hand in the air, still gripping tightly to the precious orange, and releases a pointed “Uuuuuggggh.” When she realizes she has nowhere to stomp off to she throws a “Your such an ass!” Out into the night.

“And a great one at that.”

Alicia thought that no one could match her like matt did. He had been her equal in so many ways. But he knew when to stand down or just give up. Knowing the last word always belonged to Alicia. Their chemistry had always been a bit like a slow burn. Her and Eliza are almost like a fiery hot cauldron of explosive alchemy. Elyza seems to be the only person, in recent memory, that can get Alicia to choke on her words. And it pisses her off again. But seconds after the sarcasm, Elyza is then so soft and gentle and she ebbs and flows between this conflict-oriented show off, to a thoughtful and attentive companion. And Alicia wishes she could just stay pissed off.

A loud resounding metallic squeal fills the air around them.

“get some sleep. I’m sure you’re tired. Of me.” Elyza says gesturing to the hatch she had just opened up.

Smiles.

“I’m gonna pull out of the marina and start heading backup the coast. We should reach them a couple hours after sunrise.

“Aren’t you gonna sleep?”

“I’ll sleep tomorrow.” And the blonde gives her a genuine, tender smile before extending a hand to help Alicia onto the descending ladder.

* * *

 

 

Alicia wipes the sleep from her eyes as she finishes her mental review of last night. Alicia is beginning to think that someone, maybe Elyza, can be a murder and trustworthy at the same time. But only in the apocalypse. Alicia stands at the bottom of the ladder. Spots of light filtering through the hatch. With the citrus on her tongue. Fermenting now. It had been a deep sleep only disturbed by the waves. She briefly balks at the thought. She feels comfortable. Trusting even. It’s not possible. Then she remembers yes this is the apocalypse. There are no rules anymore. Anything is possible.

 

 

 

* * *

* * *

[Click here to TUMBLE](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/paintthebrain) with me.

  * Behind the scenes: I use the lyrics from A Favor House Atlantic to prompt each chapter (They aren't in the same order as they are in the song). I just feel that song embodies Lexark. Most of the outline for this fic is finished. I'm hoping to post on mondays or every other.
  * Fun Fact: I watched all 5 episodes this morning. Woops.
  * For further discussion: Alycia on the Talking Dead. And that fucking steak lololololkadfasdfhlkjasd.
  * I hope you are enjoying this! Kudos, comments, and nerdy kinks are appreciated!



 

 


	4. And What We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia is still confused by her immediate chemistry with a certain blonde. Elyza has a sweet tooth, a shit ton of weapons, and the ability to get a certain brunette flat on her back. They make it back to the Abigail.

Alicia opens the hatch with a lingering creak. Her nostrils are immediately assaulted with the brine. She is sick of the smell of the saltwater. She is sick of the smell of death. There is nothing fresh left in this world. Alicia feels her stomach growl. She swallows her pride as she commits to asking Elyza for another piece of fruit.

She steps out of the hatch. They are moving at a swift speed through the waves. The force of the wind catches her off guard and she stumbles slightly. She finds her balance and the sight before her leaves her stomach dropping. It’s a different kind of hunger. One she is sure no amount of fruit or granola bars can sate. Elyza’s leather jacket is slung across the captain chair, blacken beaten and rough. Elyza is as the front of the ship her blonde curls blowing behind her in a mirror of the sun rays cresting up over the grey peaks to their right. Her white racer-back tank top reveals a hint of black ink threatening to ripple under the guidance of taught muscles. She feels her hands ache to trace them. Instead she focuses on the hunger she is willing to do something about.

“I’m hungry.” Alicia declares into the wind, her voice hoarse with the need. But the blonde remains turned away. Her hands shifting up and down the ropes that serve as a guide rail. If Alicia had to guess she would say the blonde is smiling. Happy even if. The wind is too sharp past her ears that she barely hears herself. She strains to put volume in her voice. She is still struck by the beauty of the blonde. She had been to irritated before to notice. Except she did notice. And she isn’t the first girl Alicia had found attractive. She convinces herself to move closer so she might get her point across. She takes several steps forward. And reaches her finger tips out. Telling herself that Elyza can't hear her. The only way she’ll be able to gain her attention is if she touches her. Yea. She has to touch her. It’s the only way.

The pads of her fingers stroke a single patch of skin and Alicia is hit with a familiar sensation. It feels like the moment she realized what Susu had become. What the world had become. It feels like the apocalypse. Like waking up and finding out the world is not what you thought it was. Everything is new and different. And before she can acknowledge this epiphany she if flat on her back, arm twisted out to one side, Elyza hovering over her. There's a glint in her eye that scares Alicia. But not really. Because in a second the warmth is back. In that moment Alicia knows. That this girl would never hurt her on purpose. And Alicia feels a strange sensation creep up on her. Almost like affection. And _that_ scares her back into her reality.

“What the hell was that?!”

“I’m sorry, Luv. Rule #1 in the apocalypse. Never sneak up on anyone.”

“Where the fuck did you learn to do that?”

There is another glimmer in those blue eyes. Another story. But again she sees the story disappear and replaced by mirth. “Kill Bill.”

“Oh yeah?” Alicia snarks. “Which volume?”

The blonde laughs as she picks the brunette up off the floor, “Volume 1, kiddo.”

The sharp pressure of their hands grasp together reignites that different kind of hunger. A hunger that she has always had a hard time acknowledging due to her stern adherence to accepting the reality presented to her. She’d noticed boys first. Had liked them first. And it wasn’t until several months into her relationship with Matt that she realized she’d wanted more from girls than just friendship. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. So she talked to the person she trusted the most. Matt. He hand been kind and understanding and even insightful. She could like both. But she loved him. So she had no reason to truly acknowledge those feelings.

Alicia releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Elyza swipes a thumb across her knuckles. Causing Alicia to suck the air back in immediately again. Ok. So. She’s gorgeous. I’m not blind.

“I knew I took your breath away, darling.”

Alicia cocks and loads flinging their hands apart like shrapnel from a bomb. “Whatever. I’m hungry. What do you got on this stupid boat?”

“You could have helped yourself, Luv.” Elyza swipes her hand down her curves in an act of invitation. “Anytime.”  
  
Alicia looks at her a crisp look of vexation. “Are you ever serious? Is there ever a moment when you aren’t exaggerating?”

“Oh I am serious about this.” Swooping her hand back up and gesturing a finger between them.

“You don’t know anything about me.”

The smile on Elyza’s face breaks a little bit. Before it returns fuller and brighter than ever. “Details. No. No clue. But that isn’t my fault is it, Luv. I don’t press. When you’re ready, you’ll tell me. As far as the truth. I’m just trying to give you your space. You only trust me because you need to. I am the least dangerous way home. I always tell the truth. But maybe 6 degrees from it. Later it will be 5 degrees. And then 4. It’s just a livelier version of the truth. I was tring to keep you comfortable. A more palatable truth. And I may not have the details, but I have the general picture.”

Alicia scoffs"You don't need to protect me from the truth. My mother tried to do that when the apocalypse started to happen. It just left me confused and pissed off." She means those words but she is hoping the mask the small amount of resentment she feels towards the blonde in this moment. A weird sense of envy. That this blonde. Just seems to know so much about her. Can see right through her. And Alicia knows nothing about the blonde. She had suppressed the curiosity, but now this jealousy finds it bubbling to the surface. She allows herself one moment of inquiry.

“How did you learn to sail?”

“Kill bill volume II”

“There’s no sailing in Kill Bill, idiot.”

Elyza just throws her trade mark smirk in her direction. And Alicia knows what she is thinking. And that gives her pause. And relief.

“Do you really want to know? Really, really want to know?”

“Yes. Fine. Just tell me.”

“My dad.”

“Oh. Did he–”

“Make it? I don’t know. He gave me his boat and told me to see the world. So I did. I didn’t believe the rumors.”

“Why didn’t he come with you?”

“I think it was his way of saving me.”

Alicia doesn’t know what to say next. So she bites her lip.

“I’ve never been one for companionship. It was always just him. And my friend Eric. We’d go sailing every weekend. Up and down the coast. To Tasmania and New Zealand on vacation.” There is whimsy in her voice as she reminisces. “Anyway, did you sleep well?”

Alicia feels her constitution slipping. Her armor failing. She wants to answer her curtly like she always has. To keep her out. And at a distance to keep her secret. But anything vaguely hostile would be more of a lie than the truth that she is keeping.

She likes her. She can’t say it out loud. Can’t say that she would like to continue to getting to know Elyza. Because of the what if’s. Because of the sheer magnitude of what they could easily be. Friends. Something. Whatever they are. It would be good. It is good.

“Yes. I did.”

“You must be hungry.” She says opening a hatch Alicia never noticed before. “I’ve got a stove and some eggs that might still be good. We’re getting close to the marina I found you in. Don’t wanna reunite you with your family on an empty stomach.”

“Do you have any more fruit? Or a Clif bar?” Alicia asks hoping.

“What’s a Clif bar?”

“It’s kinda like a granola bar but denser and more filling. So no on the Clif bar. But what about fruit?”

“Yea. Got a few apples and some oranges. Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a banana that hasn’t rotted left in this world. Go ahead you can have your pick.” She said gesturing to the second hatch.

“I’m just gonna bring the sails down so we don’t fly into anything while we’re down there.”

__

When Alicia reaches the bottom of the second compartment her jaw slackens and falls open. This cabin is bigger than the one she slept in last night. Along one wall is a collection of guns, swords, bows and crossbows. There’s a pantry filled with canned goods, fruit, gallon jugs of water, and what looks like an entire shelf devoted to soda, cookies, and candy bars. Next to the pantry is a small kitchenette with a propane stove and various cooking utensils. Below the sink is a small refrigerator. It appears to whirring with function.

“How?”

“What?” Elyza says as jumps down from the ladder with a soft landing. Elyza follows Alicia’s pointing finger. “Oh, solar panels on the stern. Keeps the generator running. But that’s really all it can power.” Elyza says moving to the far side of the cabin. She plops down on the bed and stretches out for a brief moment. “Take whatever you want. Weapons too.”

“No, thank you.” Alicia says walking toward the pantry and pulling an apple from a bag.

“You’ve never killed a walker?”

“They’re still people.”

“No, they aren’t. They are a human shaped virus.” Elyza gets up from the bed and walks up beside Alicia, their arms brushing. She picks up a packet of cookies and tears into them.

Alicia finds herself a little irritated once more, “Cookies for breakfast?”

“Not just any cookies, Luv. Tim tams.”

“What the hell are Tim Tams?”

“They’re like sex in your mouth.”  
“Isn’t oral sex like sex in your mouth?”

Elyza lets out a laugh, “Yea. I suppose it is. Would you like to try?”

“You need to stop flirting with me.”

“As you wish, Luv. But I meant the cookies not the oral sex.”

Alicia feels a heat creep up her neck. At the embarrassment. And because she didn’t think Elyza would actually agree to stop flirting with her. And the heat grows ferociously when she realizes she doesn’t want Elyza to stop.

“Fine. Whatever.” And she grabs the chocolate cookie from Elyza’s out stretched fingers. She takes a quick nibble off the corner and she has to suppress a moan. “Oh god. What the hell is this?”

“Did I not warn you?”

“Yea. Ok. Sex in your mouth. I understand the analogy now.” She grabs another apple from the bag and playfully hits Elyza in the shoulder. “Come on. I’m anxious to see my family again.” She starts up the ladder and she can feel the blonde’s eyes on her ass.

“Alicia?”

Alicia hums a note of inquiry as one hand reaches the final rung. “I’m not completely sure I’ll be able to follow through on my promise to not hit on you anymore.”

Alicia giggles with relief, but quickly cuts it off looking down at Elyza. “Whatever.” And she pushes open the hatch.

__

20 minutes later, Alicia sighs with contentment as she flings the apple core into the ocean.

Elyza is at the helm guiding them toward the white contours of the Abigail about 50 yards out.

Elyza pulls the boat hard to stern and adjust the sails. “I don’t have a life raft. You’ll have to swim over”

“You couldn’t mention it sooner? Why not just get us closer?”

“Look, Alicia I know I seem easy going, but a lot of shit can happen. I’m just protecting us. We don’t know if you who you left on the boat are going to be the same people when you return.”

Alicia finds the severity in her seriousness oddly disarming. She doesn’t know what to say. “It’s fine. Look there’s the jet ski. My mom, Daniel, and Ophelia. One or all of them must have made it back. Will you come with me?” There is a hesitancy. A vulnerability in her voice because Alicia knows she doesn’t want this budding alliance to be over. Elyza would fit in well with her family. “Just…” _don’t leave_. But the words die on her tongue.

“I’ll wait here and watch the boat. You can come get me after your reunion, ok? I’ll be watching out for you with binoculars.”

Alicia feels her heart stutter in her chest. “Okay.”

Elyza holds her hand out to help her over the gunwale. “Just be careful. Take this just in case.” She hands Alicia a large knife and smiles. And Alicia can’t stop herself from returning the smile as she sheaths the knife at her back.

The water is not like she remembers it as a child. It’s cool and invigorating, not warm and relaxing. She sputters to the surface and throws a quick wave to Elyza to let her know she is ok. The blonde throws a reassuring smile back as Alicia starts her short swim toward the Abigail.

She has time to think as each stroke glides through the water. She knows she has only know the blonde for less than a day, but Alicia knows it took less than half that for her to realize the amount of chemistry they have. It would be good to have that kind of ally. It would be good to have that kind of connection again; she finally admits as her hand hits the recessed deck of the Abigail. She pulls herself to standing. _I’ll ask her to stay with us._ She pushes her hands down her body pressing the excess water down to pool at her feet.

She turns to look at Elyza and squints through the early morning sun. She smiles at the thought of getting to keep her just a little longer. But as the blinding light off the waves shifts, she can make out movement on the other boat. The blonde’s hands waving furiously above her head. Alicia registers the faint yelling in her accent when everything goes dark.

 


	5. Good Eye, Sniper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who else I hate?  
> Warning: Death and dismemberment
> 
> Alicia is back on the Abigail and reunited with her family. Under dire circumstances.

Her ears are ringing as she wills herself from the blackness. As if she is waking from a bad dream. As if all of the horrible moments that had happened over the last few months are finally over. A nightmare. It had just been a nightmare. Her eyes adjust painfully slowly. The blinding light of the midday California sun burning them closed again briefly. She knows she’s on a boat. It can’t all have been a dream. Maybe just the blonde with eyes like the sky and those lips. Man those lips. They're a dream come true.

Alicia is on her side against the warming deck. She can hear a soft scuffling. Footsteps approaching. And scraping. Metal on metal. She turns her head to the noise. A wave of pain wraps around her skull from the back to the front as she rolls it over the deck toward the noise. Crying out in agony. A gruff voice demands “Quiet” as she is hauled up to her knees. She realizes her hands are tied behind her back. A quick palpitation reveals the knife that Elyza had given her is gone. A bitter-tasting cloth is shoved into her mouth.

The sight before her sends her gut plummeting. Her mother and brother. Both bound and gagged as well. A sword held at nick’s throat. A gun pointed at her mother’s head. She follows the gloved hand that’s holding the gun up the arm and across the attacker’s body. Tempered leather covers a hulking form. Fucking leather. Idiots. Instead of a human face she sees a metal skull crowned by a half shaven head and intricate braids. Seriously? Fucking histrionic idiots.

The swordsman holds his weapon steadily. His face covered in metal fangs, looking at Alicia with a malicious certainty. His Mohawk blows steadily in the wind. There is an eerie sense of calm in her brother’s eyes as the sharp metal presses into his flesh. He connects his eye’s with his sister’s and nods nearly imperceptibly. Alicia feels comfort in the gaze. And it reminds her of another kind of comfort. She quickly turns her head to where Elyza had been. All she sees is a small white dot further down the coast. _She left me._ She returns her gaze to her brother when she hears a commotion from the cabin. There’s yelling and fighting. She knows it is Daniel’s voice. But it is quickly silenced.

Another man, bigger than the other two assailants, with a metal plate covering half his face, a single hole for his eye, drags Chris and Ophelia out by their hair. The katana at his back clashes against the gun at his belt with a metallic clink as he pushes them to their knees in front of the rest of the captives. “We’ll be taking this boat.” He says as a forth with head shaven to the scalp leads Strand and Daniel with their hands up to the deck.

Alicia can see the wheels turning in Strands head as he says, “You are outnumbered. How do you planned to do that?”

The one with the skull mask almost _chuckles_ before he pulls out a knife. Alicia recognizes it as the one Elyza had given her. In one swift movement, he strides over to Strand, forces his hand onto a table and slices off his index finger. “Now _you_ are outnumbered.” Raising his own gloved hand revealing 5 intact fingers.

Alicia is malfunctioning. Everything she has felt about the apocalypse comes bubbling to the surface. The injustice. All the near misses in the last few months. The loss of every priority but one at the hands of senseless violence from an unfathomable entity. And now it seems her last remaining priority, her family, are about to meet the same fate, but from human hands. Nothing prepared her for this. The dead had come at her in unending waves but never once did she suspect such sinister behavior from the living. She supposes she has been shielded from it most of her life. She knows everyone is capable of evil. That even before the virus tainted humanity, humanity was already tainted by the unending capacity to turn on each other for their own agendas. War. Rape. Drugs. Elyza told her. Tried to get her to understand that the world was lost long before the apocalypse. But words uttered from a pretty mouth and watching someone dismember another human being are two incredibly different experiences. But now she knows. Now she understands. There is nothing good left in this world. Evil is everywhere she thinks as Strands finger continues to twitch on the table. His stifled grunts fill the air around them.

Daniel quickly moves to his sides and rips off his shirt to staunch the bleeding. He quickly concedes the boat. “You can have it. Just Let me ferry everyone to shore. It’s yours.” The one that had been holding the sword pulls it away from Nick’s neck and moves to Daniel.

Alicia fights against the restraints. The breakdown she was having replaced by a fury. No. She’s been through too much. They’ve been through too much. She can’t take this anymore. She can’t take the helplessness she feels. She’s always been in control of herself. Her life has always felt out of control so she took every imaginable step to command the things that could be commanded. Her grades. Her diet. Her friends.

 She’s always been a fighter. Just trying to fight the good fight. Good grades. Taking care of Nick even if he didn’t deserve it. But she had become complacent. Thinking that her dreams were almost a certainty. She’d stop fighting. Then the world ended and she began a different kind of fight. Fuck it. Fuck it all. Her fight is not over. Will never be over. She places one foot in front of her and moves to stand. She pushes the rag out with her tongue just as the swordsman arches his weapon back to swing down on Daniel. “Enough,” she says in a commanding voice.

The swordsman stops in mid swing. His eyes turn to her. Burning with malicious intent. Daniel looks to Ophelia, but continues to shield Strand. But most of the eyes are on either Alicia or the towering man with the sword in his hand and a face cloaked by metal teeth. Fingers flexing against the pommel.

There is no wind. No turbulence except for their movement through the waves. _Maybe she didn’t._ Though there is stillness the air is also exceptionally tense.

In seconds the deck breaks out into utter chaos. Ophelia punches her escort on the uncovered half of his face. He barely flinches, but it is enough for Daniel to pull the blood covered shirt he’d been using on Strand over the attacker’s throat and pull with a violent force. His giant body slumps nearly instantly to the deck. Alicia registers gunshots and whirls around to the gunmen. Trying to see where his bullets had landed. Instead Chris is standing over the giant body. The swordsman is moving quickly to him.

 Alicia feels the pressure on her wrists released, replaced by a warm and sticky wetness. She reals around to see Strand holding the knife that had severed his finger, the blood still oozing on to Alicia skin as he cut the restraints. She grabs the knife from his hand just as the last remaining pirate grabs Chris’ hair and pulls his head back violently. Sending the gun flying out of his hands over the side of the boat.

 Alicia doesn’t think. She just throws the dagger almost blindly. She prays. Hopes. Fight. Fight. It’s all she can think. Survive. Win. The dagger embeds itself in the attackers shoulder joint. But it’s not enough to deter him.

He opens up Chris’ throat anyway. His blood spills out on the deck within a few heart beats. Alicia internally shatters. It not enough. It will never be enough. When the last remaining attacker releases chris and moves on her. Alicia almost welcomes it. Is almost ready for it to me over. Fight. She thinks. This fucking ass hat will not be the death of me. Pretty blue eyes are out there somewhere. FIGHT.

She prepares to receive the attack. Hoping to move out of the way just in time. Her mother is screaming. Nick is trying to stand. Everyone else is moving to Alicia’s side.

 Alicia is still in a blind fury by the time her mother and brother, the Salazar’s, and strand have formed a united front against the man with the metal skull mask. She has no idea how much time has passed.

He stands there. His metal mask glinting with the sun. The dagger still in his shoulder. A large red stain dripping down the leather. There’s a strong breeze now. And yet everything is eerily calm. Like the moment after an earthquake. She feels almost a sense of relief. It doesn’t take long for the aftershock to reveal itself. A gloved hand comes over the rail. Then another. 2 more. 4 more pairs.

Through the artificial metallic bones Alicia can see a taut smile appear on the pirate’s face as more leather-clad men with faces obscured by various pieces of metal come over the side of the boat. He quickly shifts his eyes to Chris’ lifeless body. Alicia feels the knots in her stomach again.

“Outnumbered again. You’ll always be outnumbered,” the idiot skull mask says. Yes, and basically unarmed except for Daniel who just happens to be basically a weapon himself, but what good is that gonna do now. So your quips are completely stupid and unnecessary

Alicia is done. So very done with all this. “Just get this over with.”

His smile grows ferociously as he points the sword at her from across the deck. Two men at his sides raise their guns while the rest unsheathe their swords. “You first he says.”

“Maybe not,” a voice says behind them. Alicia is about to turn her head to it when one of the gunmen’s head explodes behind him. A single red circle and a resonating gunshot the only indicator of why. The other gunman raises his gun toward the direction of the sound. Before he ever angles it up, his head explodes too. The remaining attackers rush. But in half a heartbeat they are dead except for the man in the skull mask. But the mask itself is largely disfigured. He limp and weak as Alicia pulls the mask off. His eyes are filled with fear. Half his jaw is gone. The blood rushing from the place where his mouth used to be. Alicia feels sick. Daniel rushes forward with the knife, “How many more are there of you?”

The man’s eyes fill with a certain kind of relief. Mixed with malice. He raises his hand and stretches out the fingers. “Five?” Daniels says. The muscles twitch. The sinew curves, but there is no mouth to make a smile. He flexes his fingers again. Five. Five. Five. Five. He continues to flex them until Daniel puts the knife through his skull. They fall limp. He leaves the blade in and scans the surrounding area. _You’ll always be outnumbered,_ Alicia thinks.

“Look” Ophelia says pointing behind them. Another boat.

“That would be mine.” A figure stands on the roof of the cabin. A rifle leaning on her hip. Water dripping from golden curls.

“Elyza.” Alicia breathes out.

Elyza smiles ever so slightly before raising the gun quickly and firing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Chris. You hate Chris. Everybody hates Chris.
> 
> Fun fact: This unbeta-ed. All mistakes are mine. And I can guarantee you that I left a couple words out of sentences. It's kinda my thing.  
> Behind the scenes: I'll stop with the cliff hangers for a while. I think. Maybe. Who knows....tune in next time to find out. xD


	6. Retrace the Footsteps that Brought Us to This Favor

The barrel of the gun is pointed directly at her. Alicia raises her hands protectively in terror. Fearing she had been wrong about the blonde the whole time. Snippets of their moments together flash before her. The death of Travis. Holding on to Elyza as they zipped down the coastal highway. The earnest in Elyza’s voice as she confessed the uncertainty of her father’s fate. The secrets she hides with whimsical truths. The nervousness Alicia feels when she’s close. The safety. The fear. Murder. Savior. Sinner. Saint. The familiarity she feels in this nearly complete stranger. The debate continues on as Alicia hears the gunpowder ignite. She braces for the imminent darkness. Why did she ever think she could trust anyone? Ever. But death doesn’t come. Instead she hears the bullet burn past her and imbed itself in something behind her with a crunch and a spurt. She knows the sound of flesh and bone being torn and splintered apart. She is fluent in the music of death now.

She drops her arms, open her eyes with a flick, and turns just in time to see Chris’ reanimated body slump to the floor, twitching slightly. This back and forth. This belief that Elyza will betray her is conditioned. Everyone lets you down at some point. Before Alicia can register just how depressing that particular belief is she hears the think of boots on hardwood. Elyza lands, doubling over gracefully from the impact.

Elyza unfolds herself from the descent, and moves quickly to Alicia her eyes concerned and blue. So goddamn blue. Such a beautiful blue. All at the once the indecisiveness Alicia feels, always feels around the blonde, culls itself. And Alicia doesn’t restrain herself from taking what she wants this time. She quickly wraps her up in a hug, the gun pressed awkwardly between them. “Thank you,” Alicia says. It’s almost like a wet sigh. Relief. Relief that everyone is ok. Relief that Elyza didn’t leave her.

“I told you I’d watch out for you, Luv. Bastards got away from me when the wind died though.” She presses a little closer to Alicia so that Alicia’s head is tucked into her neck.

Alicia clings on dearly. Oblivious to her family’s eyes on her. She’s just so grateful that she still has this connection. Whatever it is. “You read my mind again.”

“Gotta love that upgrade.” Elyza says giving her a firm squeeze subconsciously pressing her lips into brown locks before shuddering apart. “Perhaps you should introduce me to your family.” Appearing to gain some composure.

“What? Oh. Yea. Mom, Nick. This is Elyza.” She points to the other three. “That’s Daniel, Strand, and Ophelia.” Alicia’s head hangs for a moment. Her shoulders slouch. “That…was Chris. She says to the blood soak body on the floor. Elyza reaches for her hand and gives it a squeeze. Madison steps forward and practically rips Elyza’s hand out of Alicia’s and shakes it firmly.

“Pleasure to meet you.” Madison says skeptically. She then arches her brow at Alicia as if to ask, _and what the hell is this?_ _You bet your ass we are going to talk about this later._

This is all a bit surreal. Here she is introducing the girl she might maybe sort of totally, have a tiny huge crush one while one of their own lies dead and the deck is littered with homicidal strangers. Her mother lost her boyfriend. They all almost just died. Except the girl that Alicia is tentatively enamored with saved them with a high powered rifled that she ferried over from her goddamn sail boat. And Alicia is introducing her like she brought her home from Berkley to meet the family at fucking thanksgiving. But she kinda doesn’t really care. There are no rules anymore. No decorum. Only priorities. She allows her finger tips to graze Elyza’s arm. _When did you become a priority? How? Why?_ She connects their eyes as she sits on the bench along the gunwale. _Those eyes._ She shakes the tingling sensation from her spine. “What do we want to do with the...”

“…Bodies?” Elyza finishes for her when the words don’t come.

Daniel looks up from his inspection of Ophelia. Checking her for any damage. “Toss them,” he says. Before giving a satisfied nod and moving to change Strand’s dressing.

Ophelia wrings out the bloody rags, Daniel handed her out in the kitchenette. “Even Chris?”

Alicia sees the sliding of her mother’s throat. A telltale sign of grief.

Daniel stares briefly at Madison. A soft, but patronizing look in his eyes, before addressing Ophelia. “We need to leave. We don’t have time to ferry him to shore and bury him.” There is a small amount of tension between him and Madison. “You saw their numbers. How quickly they overtook us. There will be more.”

Madison begins to apologize. “I wanted to…”

“It’s ok.” He assures. “This isn’t your fault. In fact, stopping to bury Travis might have saved our lives.”

Eliza has moved away from Alicia and is standing over the body missing a jaw. “Grounders,” she says matter-of-factly.

Everyone in the group looks at her quizzically.

“It’s not as ironic as you think,” she continues. “Sea-faring people named after land. That’s not why they are called that. Some people I met called them Grinders.”

Madison gives her a skeptical look. “You’ve never met one?”

“I wouldn’t be standing here if I did. We got unbelievably lucky. Strand got off way easy. They like to grind off the arms and legs of their victims. Only met two survivors on my journey. But I’ve seen what they leave behind. Little zombie bombs floating in the ocean. Just torso and teeth, ready to rip at anything.”

That seems to satisfy Madison. Daniel finishes tying off the bandages and moves to stand next to Elyza. “If what you say is true,” He looks to Alicia for confirmation. Elyza likes to tell tall tales. Not horror stories. She has no reason to believe she is lying. “Then we need to get out of here immediately. Even if that Grounder was playing head games we can’t risk it. Their reinforcements popped out of the ocean like flying fish.” He moves to start pushing bodies overboard.

Strands steps forward and tucks a piece of Madison’s hair behind her ear with his uninjured hand. “Daniel is right. We don’t have time for sentiment. We have targets on our backs now. And limbs apparently.”

Madison is rigid against Strand’s touch. Still obviously opposed to the plan. Nick stands from where he had been quietly observing the whole scene. “We can give a quick memorial or something. Maybe say a few words once we find somewhere safe.”

Elyza looks at Alicia. And smiles at her like they have a small inside joke. “I know a place.” She says turning back to the group. And then moving quickly to kneel beside Chris, she extends her hand before looking up. “May I?”

Madison nods nearly imperceptivity, eyes on Alicia.

Elyza scans the body from head to toe. Hand hovering over certain places, prodding in others. “He’ll keep until we get him back to our safe spot.” She says looking towards Alicia again. Softness in her blue eyes. That means another few hours back the way they came.

Alicia doesn’t bristle at the word ‘our’. But that makes her shiver.

Alicia is a little tired of this back and forth. Up and down the coast. But when it comes to her back and forth with the Australian she begins to wonder how she ever lived without her. It. Without it.

Elyza stands and the softness in her eyes turns into a question. Alicia detects a hint of fear. Which is impossible. Elyza is not afraid of anything. The blonde then turns her eyes to Madison and the trace of trepidation Alicia thought she saw is gone. Replaced with solid confidence again. “We can bury him there. It’s not next to his father, but that handsome man over there with the bloody rags…” Daniel looks up briefly from the splash of another Grounder falling into the ocean and quickly puts his head back down when he registers Elyza’s words. A smile covering his face. “…is a bloody genius. We can’t stay. Grounders are relentless. Sadistic. They’ll want this boat on principle now. And it’ll cost us an arm and a leg. Literally.” That sly smile that Alicia loves dripping from thin but ample lips.

This is the most inopportune time for Alicia to snort, but she does. Elyza somehow makes this seem a little lighter. A little easier. A little more fun. Her step brother is dead and she’ll feel it later. Feel it all later, but right now Elyza is here and she is fucking hilarious. And Alicia is so relieved it escapes her in an awkward snort. Elyza smiles fully.

* * *

 

Alicia can’t sleep. Truthfully the only time she’d been able to sleep in months was on that small rectangle mattress on that stupid sail boat. She can see it docked across the marina, bobbing calmly with the surf. The lantern still lit. Casting a soft glow across the deck. The motorcycle is missing. Elyza must be making “preparations”.

Alicia has spent more time than she cares to admit going back and forth from the two boats since the made it back to the safe harbor and buried Chris 5 days ago. In fact, they have spent almost every waking hour together. Except for the ones where Elyza goes off on her own to do things she won’t tell Alicia about. “preparations,” the blonde calls them.

While Elyza is off making “preparations” for whatever the fuck she is making them for, Alicia dutifully spends time with her family on the Abigail. She coaxes her mother through her grief. Tries to give Nick some purpose. Puts in a rational opinion now and then as the Salazars try to make some plans of their own. Strand wants to head to Mexico. Daniel wants to head inland. And Alicia finds herself not caring where they go. As long a certain blonde can come too.

Elyza sometimes joins them on the Abigail for meals. Bringing back whatever she finds when she’s out “preparing”. _Preparing for what? Why can’t I come too?_ But mostly stays away at Alicia request. Madison looks at Elyza like she is a walker. A mixture of hatred and fear in her eyes.

 _What are these fucking preparations?_ It’s eating Alicia more than would ever say out loud. Because deep down she still feels a certain amount of distrust. That belief. Eliza is going to leave her or let her down.

Everyone else had gone to bed. Alicia tried, but couldn’t get herself to shut down. She hears that caustic roar and feels her heart respond with a similar enthusiasm. The beam hits the sandy cliff shortly before the bike enters the enclosed marina. Elyza has been gone for a good chunk of the day. Alicia finds herself leaping off the boat and sprinting up the dock towards Elyza. She realizes how desperate it looks, but she doesn’t care. Well, she cares a little bit. She slows to a walk as Elyza takes off her helmet. Then she trips when she sees the blood and guts covering her leather jacket.

When she gains her footing, she advances quickly on the blonde. “What the fuck happened?”

That stupid fucking smile. “I’m fine, Luv. Just a little brush with a small hoard.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Elyza? You could have been killed!” The concern is dripping from her voice and she tries to temper it back.

“Aww you do care.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Come on. Just a little?”

“What was so goddamn important that you had to take on a hoard to get it?”

That stupid fucking goddamn idiot smile. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

 

* * *

 

20 minutes later Alicia finds herself at the top of the cliff that makes up the fourth wall, from up here she can see just why it is such a unique harbor. It looks like someone dug it out with an ice cream scoop. If a passerby didn’t think to look for it, they would never see it. Perfectly disguised as just a small crack between cliffs with two docks on either side. The only light she can see from up here is the single lantern lit on Elyza’s boat.

“What do you call it?”

“Hmm?” Elyza says, distracted. She putting a blanket down on top of a mattress. The mattress sticks out like a sore thumb

“Your boat. What do you call it?”

“Polaris.” She says fixing the corners of the blanket and patting the mattress. Signaling for Alicia to sit beside her. “I kinda have a thing for stars.”

Alicia smiles at that. “Me too.”

“I kinda have a thing for you.” Elyza confesses. Half mischief. Half sincerity.

“So you defeated a zombie hoard so you could what? Try and make out with me?”

“No. But that would have been worth it too.” She says laying back and gesturing toward the brightest object in the sky. “Polaris.”

Alicia giggles. “That’s not Polaris, ya goof. That’s Venus.”

"But I thought Polaris was the brightest thing in the sky.”

“Not at this time of year.” Alcica says and Elyza continues to smile up at the sky. “And you call yourself a sailor.”

“Never navigated by the stars, Luv. Never needed to.” The blonde says pulling a small compass attached to silver chain from underneath her jacket. Alicia hadn’t noticed the necklace until now.

“Who got that for you?” She says settling on the mattress beside the blonde, propping herself on her elbows.

“My dad. And Eric.”

“Eric is your best friend?”

“Was. He probably didn’t make it either.” Elyza says playing with the compass around her neck. Twirling it gently in her fingers. "He was too much of a nice guy."

“Oh. Well. You survived. And you’re nice. To me anyway.”

“Anything for you, Luv.” She stops playing with her necklace and lets a gloved hand fall to her side. Just a few fingers covering Alicia’s hand.

Alicia blushes and sits up. “So are you gonna tell me what you were really doing all day?”

“A couple things.” Elyza says. Sitting up now too. Fumbling in her leather jacket for something. “First,are you hungry? Because I found this.”

Alicia turns to see Elyza holding her palm out. A small package resting precariously on it. “Oh sorry you probably can’t see it.” The blonde pulls out a flashlight from her other pocket and turns it on, focusing it on the package.

Alicia is endeared by just how cute and awkward Elyza is being. But when the beam of the flashlight hits the packaging, Alicia’s heart ignites in her chest.

It’s a Clif Bar.

Alicia doesn’t think. She doesn’t weigh the likelihood of Elyza betraying her or leaving her. She pushes fully onto Elyza’s lap and kisses her.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Behind the scenes: Does this count as a cliff hanger? Lol or a maybe Clif hanger? 

Fun Fact: YAAAAAAAAAS! Kiss her, Binch!

 


	7. The Words You Scribble Down the Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia kinda sorta almost finally makes up her mind. We find out a little bit about Elyza's back story. And some fluff. And by some I mean ALL the fluff.

Alicia loses control in the kiss. She pushes the blonde down into the mattress and let’s this thing that she wants. _Feels._ Over take her. It’s not until a moan trickles from the body beneath her that she realizes what she’s doing. How perfect it feels. It causes fear to come bubbling up.

Alicia scrambles off Elyza and moves quickly to the corner of the mattress.

“Not the kind of hunger I had in mind when I got this for you, but I’m not complaining.” Elyza says pushing the forgotten granola bar back towards Alicia.

The comment snaps Alicia back to that moment on the boat. The pure want and hunger she felt at seeing the blonde. The comment is meant to be levity, but it makes Alicia feels shame instead. She’d lost control. AGAIN. Get a grip you fucking, baby. Yes. You like her. But you barely know her. Alcica decides there has got to be way to get her urges under control. She shouldn’t be making babies with this beautiful sweet kind asshole so soon. But god does she want to.  

But unless she is given the imperio curse, there is no way she is ready to give herself over to this. Not when she stills has so many other secrets to discover about Elyza. 6 degrees from the truth Alicia thinks. They’ll get there. At least she is willing to admit to herself that Elyza is what she wants, even if she doesn’t really know how to want her. Or who Elyza really is beyond their palpable chemistry. She’s attracted to her. It’s empowering to acknowledge it. But right now Alicia needs a different kind of sovereignty so she rips the package from Elyza’s hand and tears it open with her teeth. It’s gone in three bites.

“I thought you’d want to savor it.” Elyza chuckles.

“I did while it lasted.”

“Not very long, but there’s more where that came from. Whenever you’re ready, Luv.” They both know they aren’t talking about granola bars anymore. Alicia allows herself a faint smile as she straightens her shirt. Maybe 5 degrees from the truth. Alicia hopes she never gets used to Elyza being able to read her thoughts. They lean back on the mattress. Alicia allows the proximity.

There’s a stillness. A particular sensation that has eluded Alicia for so long. For so much of her life.  “Anyway, Sirius, Betelgeuse, Alpha Centauri.” Elyza says pointing to the sky and interrupting her thought. Alicia was on the cusp of understanding something greater than herself. An epiphany really. Stupid Elyza. Stupid beautiful Elyza and her stupid astronomy knowledge. Wait that can’t be right.

Alicia knows it’s true. She whips her head to her companion. Then looks back at the sky. Then back again. And Elyza just smiles back at her and says, “I might know a little bit more about stars than I let on.”

Alicia scoffs. Maybe they hadn’t made much progress at all. The blonde is still hiding behind her little white lies. “Why did you make me think I knew more than you?”

“It’s romantic.”

“It’s stupid.”

“yea, well the two aren’t mutually exclusive.” Elyza smirks again and Alicia wants to punch her in the mouth. But thinks maybe a kiss would be better. And in that moment Alicia realizes, Elyza maybe is scared too. Alicia gets it now. She understands Elyza’s lies and tall tales. She afraid of something. She hides behind charm to what? Hide her stupid beautiful self? Yea. Ok. It’s scary. The truth changes everything. But Alicia has always known that. The truth is the worst kind of loss. It takes the control you thought you had, kills it, and fucking spits on its grave. It makes all the lies you tell yourself to feel better come crashing to the ground. A tiny apocalypse of self.

Alicia knows Elyza is right – this degree of truth thing is probably warranted. She’s never been really good at excepting the truth. When Nick was a helpless Junkie, she told herself she could make him better. When she couldn’t, she told herself Mom could make him better. When Madison ignored Alicia in favor of helping Nick, she told herself that things would get better. When they didn’t, she told herself just a few more years until college. So many lies she’s told herself to preserve control over her own destiny. But there is no such thing as that. Or good or evil. Or better or worse. Only the in-between. And that is where Elyza is. Where they both are. Stuck in the middle of this. Neither yet willing to cross to one side or the other.

And Alicia sees now the groundwork Elyza had been laying. The foundation she’s been making. Carefully laying the road that will lead them together. Working toward the beautiful truth that destiny doesn’t exist, but they do. And it’s just as inevitable. Whether Alicia wants to stop it or not, she can’t. So she does the only thing she knows will make her feel better, she takes control and steps out of the in-between.

“I want to know…I want to know more about you. I want you to tell me the truth about who you are. Where you’re from. More about your father. Eric. I want…I just want to know.”

Elyza’s smirk falls flat and a pensive look flexes across her face. It’s the same look Elyza had got when she confessed that she can read her like a book because of her eyes. It’s authentic and candid. And Alicia realizes just how much more she needs from Elyza to turn this into something else. She needs this to be honest and genuine. All of it. Not just the pull.

“Do you trust me?” Elyza asks with sincerity, not breaking eye contact.

Alicia can’t bring herself to answer. Because they both know the answer is no. Not yet. And something sets in Elyza. It looks likes disappointment that molds itself into determination.

“Come on.” Elyza says guiding her up from the mattress.

* * *

 

“Are you crazy?” Alicia says with contempt

“What?”

“How does asking me to jump off a cliff prove you are trustworthy?” It’s not a cliff. Not really. It’s a small fissure in the ground that leads out to the cliff that faces the marina. But she can’t see to the bottom. And that freaks her out.

“Because. Gut reaction, Luv? How do you feel about me?” Elyza realizes what she said would lead to a bit too much truth for either of them and changes her words. “Get out of your head. Stop agonizing about your rules and decide. Can you trust me?” And extends a hand to Alicia.

Alicia looks into Elyza’s eyes. Duh. Of course she can. Elyza has put herself in harm’s way a half dozen times just to protect her. Alcica silently curses herself for her fucking antics and the confusing back and forth she had given to Elyza. Sinner. Saint. It’s her own fault. Or her mother’s. It’s probably her mother’s fault. And Nick’s. They created chaos in her life. And forced her to be the facilitator of that chaos. It’s no wonder she needs to have control over these feelings. These chaotically beautiful feelings she has.

Fuck it.

She grabs Elyza’s hand and leaps into the fissure.

The landing is soft. Very soft. Elyza lands just to the right of her. That stupid smile written on her face.

Alicia scowls for a second before Elyza rolls over and lifts a finger to Alicia’s chin, pulling out the flashlight and checking Alicia for any damage.

In the soft light Alicia can see Elyza’s blue eyes filled with a mixture of mirth and concern and vulnerability. She wants to kiss her more. Punch her less. That was kinda fun. A question comes to her mind and she grabs the flashlight from Elyza’s hand and casts the beam around them.

She knows now why the landing was soft. The fissure is filled up with mattresses much like the one they had been laying on at the top of the cliff. The walls are lined with them as well. There is some writing on the wall, but it’s just names and she doesn’t recognize any of them. She continues the inspection of their little safe haven until she brings the beam up to Elyza’s beautiful face. “You _are_ crazy.”

“I tested it myself a bunch of times today. I knew you were safe.”

“Not just that. You took on a horde of walkers to get me a Clif Bar and make me a bouncy house. Tell me that’s not what you were doing all day.”

“Among other things. But yea.”

“It was stupid.” Alicia says sternly, but then a smile betrays her. “And romantic. Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Luv.” Elyza’s smile could have lit up the whole cavern.

* * *

 

They are almost touching. Almost admitting that they want each other. Almost admitting that the grey area they had spent most of their time in was getting increasingly smaller.

Alicia squeezes a little closer. Eliminating almost all of the space between. Almost all of the ambiguous grey with her body and her words. “I like spending time with you. You say that you’re protecting me by not telling me the truth. My mother does that. It makes me feel small. Stupid. Like she doesn’t trust me with the truth. Like I haven’t been fending for myself half my life.” A sigh and a shudder as she moves even closer. Alcica not sure if the shudder came from herself or the blonde. Her voice is quiet and unsure. IF the truth needs to be said she might as well go first. “You ask me if I trust you. I want to. But I don’t really know you. You say you give me half-truths to protect me. But this. Us. Whatever it is. I need…I need more than that. I think you don’t trust me with the truth. I think your protecting yourself.”

“Ahh. Finally got the upgrade did you?” Elyza says appearing to try to deflect the more serious topic.

Alicia laughs. “I know what subterfuge looks like. I think you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared of anything, Luv.”

“You looked pretty scared when I was in danger.”

“Yea, well where am I gonna find another girl like you in the apocalypse?”

“Guess you should give me what I want then. Tell me the truth.”

“about what?”

“About you.”

Elyza is quiet for a while. “Ok.” She says sitting up. “Ok. Everything about my dad and Eric are true. I just left a few things out.”

“Like what?”

“Eric and I were in the military together. Both enter when we were old enough.”

“Oh.”

“Oh what?”

“Nothing. The just explains the Kill Bill…thing” And she does a little karate chop to emphasize what she means. “And the sharp shooting.”

“yea. Special forces.”

“ok.”

 “I’ve killed people.” Elyza admits it with a whisper like it’s some kind of revelation. Alicia saw her kill people with her own eyes.

“Yea. I saw that.” It doesn’t bother Alicia like it once did. When they first met. The dead are dead. And the living are evil. She gets that now. Elyza is good. A pain in the ass. But good.

“Before the apocalypse. For the Australian Armed Forces.”

 _Killer._ The thought enters her head before she can stop it. And Alicia now thinks maybe this was a bad idea. A beautiful lie. Versus a wicked truth. Now she gets why everyone lies to her. But somehow this stings most.

“That look. I’ve seen it before.” Elyza says. “I told you I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Were they bad men?” She sounds like an infant. But her brain is trying to spin this into black and white again.

“Most.” Pulls herself up to her elbows. “Some were...they were good people.”

The in-between. Life will never be black and white again. To think so is foolish. Possibly more foolish than being enamored with a stranger. “Were you there when the virus started to spread? In the military I mean?”

“No. Been kicked out for almost a year. That’s when Dad gave me his boat. That’s how he saved me. He and Eric knew I was hurting so they walked me down to dock, gave me the compass, and told me to get lost. So I did. In Thailand, Japan, Canada, everywhere around the pacific. And in the women that lived there.” She pauses for a moment, looking at Alicia in the eyes.

Alicia suspects she’s searching for resolution. But all she has is more questions. Alicia starts to ask why she was kicked out, but Elyza shifts and already knows “For disobeying a direct order. It cost the lives of 5 good people.”

“oh.” She turns to Elyza. Alicia never thought she would see her so vulnerable. There’s a slight sheen in her eyes. It’s made luminous as the flashlight clicks on again. Elyza shines it at the wall. There are 5 names written there. As the beam glides over each, Elyza says them out loud.

Alicia is silent and reverent as Elyza finishes her sacrament. When the flashlight goes off again, Alicia feels just brave enough to intertwine her fingers with Elyza’s.

‘You wanted the truth.” Elyza’s voice is the coldest she has ever heard it. It’s a far cry from the attentive jokester she’s always portrayed. “That’s the truth.”

Alicia waits. Uncertain how to proceed. “we are what we are. The apocalypse changes us.”

“it didn’t change me. This is who I have always been. I’m not all charm.”

“Good. Because I am not either.” Alicia says. “There was that so hard?”

‘I guess not, Luv.” Elyza stares at their entwined fingers in awe. Then bursts into a smile “You’re turn.”

“For what?”

“The truth.”

Alicia scoffs. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

“How many times have you thought about me naked?”

“More than I can count.”

“Good.” Elyza says smugly, squeezing Alicia’s hand tightly. “Alright, Luv. Let’s see what you got. What’s that constellation over there?” She says pointing to the sky.

* * *

 

BY the time they get back to the boat the lantern has gone out. Alicia helps Elyza light it and then lock the bike into its usual place. Elyza moves toward her. “I guess this is good night then.” She sets a gentle hand on Alicia’s hip.

Alicia closes her eyes. They’d made so much progress. And she truth her now more than ever. But still there is that persistent nagging. Not yet it says. Just a little more. Let her prove herself. That stupid voice. How many times does Elyza have to save her life to prove that she is here for her? She can feel Elyza moving forward to close the gap. But she blindly finds her cheek and opens her eyes. “I want to. I do.” A thumb strokes across the blonde’s skin. “Give me time?”

Elyza sets her hand on Alicia’s “Anything for you, Luv. Just...We’re not always guaranteed a tomorrow anymore. But I’ll wait. It takes as long as it takes.”

Those words give Alicia peace. A sense of calm. But makes her feel brave at the same time. And she swears if they make it. She will reward Elyza for her patience. “Good night, Elyza.”

“Good night, Luv. And until your ready I’m gonna be your Gunbitch.”

“My what?”

“It’s a phrase we used in the army. It means to have someone’s back no matter what.”

Alicia laughs. “You’re a dork.”

“You’re crap at Astronomy.” She smiles her million watt smile that melts Alicia’s heart and retreats into her cabin leaving Alicia to return to her room for another sleepless night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWW. Fluff. And not just the matresses.


	8. I'll Call on You when the Time is Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few weeks have passed since their first kiss. And they haven't kissed since. Dummies.

The moon is high tonight. Large. Full. Luminous. It’s reflection ripples across the surface between the Abigail and Polaris. Like a beacon. Alicia can barely see her beloved stars through the whispy, incandescent clouds. She takes a deep breath and exhales. The moisture causing a hazy mist of its own.

The nights have been growing colder for some time. Winter is slowly seeping in around them. Mild, as California winters are famous for, but still inconvenient. It sends a shiver through Alicia’s spine as she struggles to find the courage to do what she’s wanted to do since that night on the cliff. Probably since before that. Since their first night on Polaris together. In their first moments.

But ever since the cliff she had been working up the courage to kiss her again. She’d find a brazen moment and then it would die as quickly as it came. And Elyza. The beautiful conundrum that was Elyza. Never pushed. Never pressed. It was a blessing and a curse. She wishes Elyza would just do it already. Make the goddamn leap like she had done, literally off a cliff, all those weeks ago.

But she had told Elyza she needed time. And so Elyza gave it to her. Idiot. Stupid kind gracious idiot.

The weeks had passed in a dying of the light. Slow and quick. Like a sunset. Mornings had been spent at the breakfast table. Ignoring patronizing side-eyes from her mother. She didn’t approve of the amount of time Alicia spent with Elyza. That much was obvious. But Alicia let it pass. Letting things slide she shouldn’t because they were family. And because Madison was choking on grief. And lonliness and jealousy. It was a tough balance. A balance between being there for her family as she had always done and exploring this new sensation of finite kinship with someone not of her blood.

 Matt had been her first attempt at seeking this out on her own. But because he felt easy and familiar. Elyza feels like family. But she can’t find the words to explain that to her mother. It was exhausting. Trying to make her mother happy. But then again. It’s always been. Ultimately, Alicia new deep down that family is supposed to have your back. No matter what. She had spent almost her entire life without them in so many ways. Always having their back and them forgetting she existed. She didn’t understand why her mother was choosing now to be overprotective of her. Finally having those heart to heart mother daughter talks she had craved so much in her youth. Maybe it was the apocalypse. Families need to stick together. They need to choose each other. But she knew if it came down to it. She would probably pick Elyza without even thinking about it. It’s scary. But that much is true.

She had spent the afternoons with Elyza swimming in the marina. Or watching her tinker with some invention or ancillary device. A solar still. A radio. Alicia had lost track of the amount of times she fantasized about bending Elyza over her makeshift work bench and kissing her stupid. It would take a while to do so. Elyza is smart. Very smart. In addition to her seemingly genius skills with mechanisms, Elyza is also incredibly good with numbers. It makes Alicia quiver just thinking about it. She loves watching Elyza’s mind move and weave its way around complex problems. It’s so fucking sexy.

Other afternoons were spent solely on chores while the others went on supply runs and Elyza went off on her own. Preparations. Always the same stupid fucking excuse. Alicia would scrub the deck of the Abigail with furious abandon. Or wash clothes. One time she had scrubbed one of nick’s shirts until it was threadbare and unwearable.  But Elyza returned to her in the evenings. Just before dinners with her family. She came back. Every time. With that cocky smirk and that delicious swagger and Alicia instantly forgot why she was mad. Elyza always came back. That’s all that mattered.

The nights were just for her and Elyza. They talk. They cuddle. They stargaze on the mattress on the cliff. She learns things she never knew about the universe. Facts upon facts tumbling from those beautiful lips.

Alicia inevitably learns the universe that is Elyza as well. The constellations in her freckles. The sun in her hair. The hidden galaxies that were her thoughts. The stars in her eyes when Alicia made her laugh. The gravitational pull of planetary proportions when Alicia was brave enough to slip her hand into Elyza’s. Elyza’s strengths and her weakness. Her seriousness and her silliness. The tall tales and the truths. She knows Elyza is there for her. Even if she doesn’t try to express it to her physically. Why hasn’t she tried? This is stupid. Maybe they’re waiting for the time to be right.

Alicia crosses onto the dock. One foot in front of the other. One step. A breath. It suddenly occurs to her that maybe this was all a mistake. If she learned anything from her family, it was that love was weakness. Another step. Something in the air changes. It’s just a hint. Something heavy and lurking. Her fear is instantly heightened. It sends a cacophony of thoughts storming through her mind. Her childhood. Her father. Elyza. Beautiful. Smart. Elyza. Alicia is losing courage again with each tempered footfall. But Elyza’s words from earlier surge through her mind. And Alicia knows she has to press on.. She reaches the end of the dock. Taking another deep breath, she pushes across the concrete ramp to the other dock.

It had just been an offhand comment. Just another one of Elyza’s random pontifications. Her abstraction and ability to manipulate numbers that had set Alicia on this mission tonight. She knows Elyza had meant nothing by it really. Just a musing thought. But the truth in it. Unnerved Alicia.

45 days. The average life expectancy of a human now is 45 days. Elyza explained the math. If a billion people had survived this whole thing, and that was generous she had said, then almost 6 billion people had died. It’s been over 6 months since this whole thing began. That’s a billion people a month. Well if the majority hadn’t been taken out probably in the first month. The math made sense, but she doesn’t remember it now. All she remembers is that she is supposed to live for only 45 days. And she has spent the last two months not kissing Elyza. Except for that one time.

 Her mission renews itself. She is not going to sleep tonight until she feels Elyza’s lips on hers again.

She has reached the bow of Polaris. The heaviness in the air is still permeating her senses. She slips a leg over the gunwale and stealthily shuffles toward the hatch that she knows contains the object of her affection. But stops halfway. What the hell is she supposed to do when she gets there?

This is stupid. She can’t exactly knock. Elyza would be too suspicious. If she opens the hatch, Elyza will probably accidentally pull a gun on her out of habit. But before she can do anything she hears a creak.

The hatch flips open and Elyza pulls herself out of the hatch and stands up. Alicia flexes her finger tips and rolls her eyes. “Of course.”

Elyza instantly drops into a fighting stance. Her eyes squinting into the darkness.

“It’s me.” Alicia says.                   

Elyza instantly lets out a relieved laugh. “Good. I was just thinking about you.” The tensions in Elyza’s muscles dissipates. She steps forward. And Alicia can see the tension return momentarily as Elyza struggles with if she should touch her or not. Ultimately, Elyza stretches her fingers and leaves a breathy touch on Alicia’s arm. Alicia curses the flannel that is protecting her from the chilly air because it also mutes Elyza’s searing touch. Elyza lets her hand fall to her side as a smile rises on her face. “What are you doing here?

“Same." Alicia says wishing she could have felt that touch. But she’s losing her nerve again. She just can’t seem to find an equilibrium. But it doesn’t matter anymore. She knows what she wants. She can’t stop now. She reaches down and picks up Elyza’s hand and engulfs it with one of her own. Bringing Elyza's cold hand to her lips and kissing it before she entwines their fingers together and lets the mass fall between them. She brings her other hand to Elyza’s cheek. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you either.” She can feel the heat spread across Elyza’s skin.

Elyza dips her head sheepishly. Blonde locks fall in her face. Alicia feels the need blaze through her body. She lifts Elyza’s chin and _finally_ kisses her again. It's soft and vast and effulgent. Like the universe.

She pulls away and tucks a blonde lock behind Elyza’s ear _._ She wants to kiss those too. And her cheek and jaw and collarbone and everywhere really. Instead of that confession she gazes deep into Elyza’s eyes and lets the moon do its work. They are beautiful and blue and glowing. And Alicia’s heart stutters at it. But the next words do not. “I missed you today.” She says with conviction. She feels vulnerable, but she knows she means them. She lets a finger slide across Elyza’s ear and down her jaw.

“Sorry, Luv. Just a few preparations.” Elyza says jovially.

Fear ignites again. “You always say that.” Alicia drops her hand. Anger flaring to mask the fear. “Are you ever gonna tell me exactly what you are preparing for?”

Elyza whips herself back, unprepared for the change in tone. Her blue eyes narrow and become diluted into a look of half vulnerability and half defiance. “I had a plan before I met you,” she throws back.

Alicia instantly deflates. She knew it. She fucking _knew_ it. Just like everybody else. Elyza was going to leave her. Desert her. She feels the tears begin to sting her eyes. This is stupid. She’s so fucking stupid. She turns away from this fucking asshole idiot jerk. She can’t believe she ever thought Elyza was different.

“Wait!” Elyza pushes after. Grabbing her by the arm and spinning her gracefully. “That’s not what I meant.” She runs her fingers though her blonde locks. “I was…I was gonna see the world. I just…”

“And now what?” Alicica snaps

Elyza’s shoulders heave with a heavy sigh. It’s one of her tells, Alicia knows. It always comes right before a truth that Elyza kinda wants to hold on to.

But she doesn't.

“And now...you’re my world.” Her words are both open and veiled. A beautiful truth. And Elyza’s eyes shine with tears of their own.

“Oh.” The words hit Alicia. She sees stars as her heart starts to beat rapidly again at the stark, certain realization that Elyza is just as head over heels as she is. “Ok.” She chokes back a sob and covers it with a smile. “Smooth talker."

Elyza’s arms are still holding her in place as she steps fully into her space and squeezes her tightly. “Anything for you, Luv.” Alicia is ready. She wants more. She wants to commit. Even if it’s only for the next 45 days. Even if it's for longer. 

She leans in one more time and kisses her with a promise. Telling Elyza that she is her world too.

But before the kiss can turn into something more, there is a growl. A low rumbling, gurgling growl.

They both snap back anxiously searching the darkness for a clue. But the growl happens again. And they both chuckle.

“Hungry?” Elyza asks looking down at Alicia’s stomach.

“You have no idea.” Alicia admits.

“Come on. Let’s get you something to eat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be posted like a week ago. But i got the flu and any editing i did made me want to pass out. And so i did. But it's here now! Thank you for your patience. And what do you think? Going ok so far? Next chapter is going to be fuuuuuun. I wonder what Alicia is gonna eat.
> 
>  
> 
> Lol yea yea i'm a tease. I know. But you like it, don't you?


	9. Are You In or Are You Out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up pretty much right after last chapter.

The cabin is not unlike the first time Alicia laid on eyes on it. She’s been down here a couple times since. Never this late. And never this full of bravery. There are a few more weapons on the walls than before. Including what looks like a giant rocket launcher. Below it, resting on a shelf, is a metal military-grade munitions box the size of a small suitcase labeled “RPG missiles”. Both rocket launcher and the munitions case are new editions to the cache.

“How did you get those?”

“Preparations, Luv.” She says with a wink as she takes off her leather jacket and flings it on a chair.

 Alicia scoffs, rolls her eyes, and continues her inspection of the cabin.

The items in the pantry have morphed and changed over the last few months. To Alicia’s dismay the apples and oranges are long gone. They haven’t been able to find any fresh produce in weeks. Just canned fruit. But Alicia’s favorite new addition to the collection of edibles are the boxes and boxes of Clif bars. They stand like yummy sentinels next to Elyza’s seemingly never ending supply of Tim Tams.

Alicia rests her fingers on a crinkly package of the Aussie cookies. Remembering the first time she tasted one. “It feels like forever ago” She doesn’t realize she has said it out loud until Elyza answers her.

“What does?” Elyza says as she takes things out of a large bag by the bed and starts sorting them into their assigned areas.

“Meeting you. Getting to know you.” Alicia picks up the package and takes a single cookie out. “It feels like we’ve been doing this for years.

“About two months.” Elyza says as she takes the cookie from Alicia’s fingers and places it to Alicia lips. “but if you think about it...It _is_ like we have been doing this for years.”

“How so?” She takes a bite and savors it, eyes sparkling.

“Well…” Elyza gets the look. Alicia has come to recognize it as a part of her constellations, her stars, her universe. Just one more thing that makes up this beautiful comet that has lit up her life. It’s the look that heralds the coming of an intricate thought. Carefully plotted and calculated and almost always super nerdy. Alicia revels in them. “…If was this life before the apocalypse. We would have met. Gone on a date. Spent a few hours a week with each other. So maybe over the course of a month and maybe 5 dates, we would have spent about 20 hours with each other. And then I probably would have asked you to be my girlfriend. But now, well conventional dates aren’t really an option. But...we still went on them.”

“Oh…yeah.” Alicia says, realizing all the times they spent together; stargazing, swimming in the marina, jumping off the cliff onto the mattress, nights on the Polaris., were a post-apocalyptic version of dating.

Elyza holds the cookie up again so Alicia can take another bite. “By my calculations we’ve been on about 64 dates.”

Alicia obliges and takes another delicious bite through a comical snort. “64 dates. Sounds about right." It would explain why she's pretty much head over heels for this girl after two months. "But I don’t believe you would have asked me to your girlfriend. No offense but you don’t seem like the relationship type.”

“I know a good thing when I see it.” Elyza sticks the rest of the cookie in her own mouth, chewing merrily despite her cocky smirk.

“I call bullshit. 64 dates according to your calculations means we have been dating for a year and 3 months and you still haven’t asked me to be your girlfriend.” She’s about to call Elyza out on her lack of commitment further when just like always Elyza reads her thoughts.

“I’ve been waiting on you love. The stakes are high. Now. In this world. But regardless. I want you to be sure. Go at your own pace.” Elyza licks her fingers, savoring every last crumb of her beloved cookies. When she’s finished she flicks a charming wink Alicia’s direction.

“Smooth talker.”

“Always,” Elyza gives a challenging, but facetious glance to her. She lays down on the bed and pats the space beside her.

Alicia rolls her eyes and removes her shoes. She jokingly chides her almost-girlfriend, “No funny business, Lex,” as she moves to fill the other half of Elyza’s bed.

 “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Elyza says but the glint in her eye suggests she’s dreamt of it as much as Alicia has.

* * *

The night waned into the early hours of the morning. Alicia knows she’s gonna get the third degree from her mother as soon as she steps foot on the Abigail in the morning. And later Strand and Ophelia will tease her when she falls asleep during breakfast or morning chores.

But she looks over at Elyza immersed in a Batgirl comic book, her thin white tank top accenting every curve that Alicia adores. Her brow is furrowed in concentration, and Alicia knows it’s definitely worth any discourse her family might throw in her direction.

She cuddles closer to her. Tucking herself into Elyza’s side and putting her head on a well-defined shoulder. She inhales and takes in the scent of her. A tinge of soap underneath a layer of salt and sandalwood.

She feels Elyza rest an arm down her spine, swirling soothing circles across her back. “I like this.” Elyza says as she looks down at Alicia. Alicia can hear a small laugh start in Elyza's throat, but it is choked back and almost ends in a soft sob. Elyza sets her comic book down on her own chest.

Alicia is looking up at her now. “Elyza?” She starts to shift when she sees a thin coating of tears line Elyza’s eye. “What’s wrong?”

Elyza secures her arm around Alicia further. “No, stay. Don't move.” A grin decisively flourishes onto Elyza’s lips. “I’m ok. It’s just…”

Alicia wraps her arms tightly around Elyza’s waist. Encouraging the blonde to express herself.

Elyza takes a deep breath. “I didn’t think I would have this. After everything. The end of the world. The accident.” Her gaze shifts uncomfortably around the cabin.

Alicia doesn’t take her eyes off Elyza. Her heart burns with affection for this tough-as-nails teddybear.

“I just never thought I would find somebody to care about again,” Elyza confesses.

If Alicia’s smile were made of electricity, right now it could power the west coast again. She leans up and pulls Elyza down for a soft, emoting kiss. “I care about you, too.”

“Yea?” It’s innocent and endearing. Like she actually believes no one could ever care for her. And Alicia needs her to know that she does.

“It’s impossible not to.” Alicia smile continues to blaze. Elyza breaks their unspoken rule and kisses her first, pressing their smiles together gently. Elyza strokes her thumb across Alicia’s jaw as she picks up her comic book off her chest with the hand wrapped around Alicia.

“Fair trade. No new comic books. But at least I have you.”

“At least?” Alicia jokes.

Elyza flashes her that affectionate smile reserved only for her. “You’ve never seen Batwoman in action. Very hot. Wears a lot of leather. Has a sexy, badass girlfriend.”

“So do you.” Alicia blurts.

Elyza softens. “Do I?”

“Maybe.” Alicia flips to defensive faster than a blink of an eye. Because it’s just her default really. And she’s pretty frickin stupid in the head when it comes to pretty blondes.

Alicia can tell Elyza senses her discomfort. And the blonde changes the subject. “Anyway, it’s a shame we’ll never have the Rebirth series now. She was supposed to be gayer.”

Alicia is grateful, but she lets the silence permeate. She should just ask Elyza. Get it over with. But the moment has passed.

Elyza goes back to pressing soothing circles into her back. She tosses the comic book on the floor behind Alicia. “What are you going to miss most? From before? Not the comforts of civilizations. The stories that will never have their ending.”

Alicia sighs. The easy atmosphere returning in just a few words from her almost-girlfriend. “Game of thrones.”

Elyza chuckles. “Really, Luv? You don’t strike me as the type to like that kind of torture porn.”

Alicia pinches her.

“Ok, maybe you _are_  into that sort of thing…” Elyza says, a hint of a laugh in her words.

“The books not the show, dummy. I liked the world building and the mystery. The little details. I wanted a Dothraki Arahk so so bad.” She shifts to look up at Elyza again. “I want one now. In the apocalypse. I want that to be like…my signature weapon?”

“You’d rather have an Arahk than a gun?”

“Yea. Just seems more practical.”

“A fantasy weapon is more practical?” Elyza continues to tease.

“Well yea. Because of the long handle and curved blade, it would take minimal effort to pierce a skull. And I mean on the back of a motorcycle you could run them all down just like the Dothraki did on their horses.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought this through, Luv.” Elyza says as she pulls her fingers through Alicia’s hair.

Alicia is completely comforted and at ease. Her mind starts wondering. She’s never shared her mind as freely with anybody as she does with Elyza. “I wonder what grrmartin would be like as an undead.”

Elyza snorts. “Probably still killing off his main characters. Except, you know, literally.” Alicia joins her in a nerdy giggle. “I wouldn’t mind eating Daenerys, figuratively.” The comment earns the blonde another pinch.

“She probably tastes like burnt toast.” Alicia says trying to pout. But it’s hard when her smile is so determined to stay on her lips.

“No way, Luv. I bet she tastes like Firewhiskey.”

“A potter fan, too. Bestill my heart.”

Elyza winks. “But I want to make it beat faster.”

“Smooth talker.”

“Always.”

A few minutes of easy silence pass, and they unwind further into each other. Alicia feels the gentle strokes from Elyza’s fingertips lulling her into a trance.

“So what do we call them?” Alicia wonders out loud in her sleepy stupor. Because she hasn’t really thought about it in a while. They have their own little oasis in the marina. In each other. But the threat is still real.

“The undead?”

“Yea.”

“I dunno, Luv. How about Undies for short?” Elyza says with a twinkle in her eye.

“I like it. Kinda takes the severity out of it.”

“Exactly.” Elyza shifts and Alicia adjusts her head on her shoulder. “Kinda hard to be too afraid of granny panties.”

Alicia laughs unabashedly. And it makes her realize just why she likes Elyza exactly. She likes her for her universe, yes. All the little things that make up her. But also Elyza makes the Apocalye a little less terrifying. A little less like surviving and a little more like living.

As the laughter dwindles in her throat, she looks up at those blue eyes and she’s overcome with affection. She wraps her slender fingers behind Elyza’s neck and pulls her in for a soft kiss. But the revelation sparks a fire in her. _I want her._ _I want to be hers._

She’s falling in love with the universe and she needs to taste stardust.

The kiss quickly grows in fervor. And before Alicia knows it she’s straddling Elyza and kissing her with gravity. Kissing her to show how much she wants Elyza. The stars and the atoms and the black holes and the rings. _Rings? Too soon for rings. But…_ Alicia realizes it’s time. She’s ready.

“Elyza, beautiful dork, silly lothario, will you be my girlfriend?” Alicia watches the wonder in Elyza’s eyes and just instantly falls again. Falls for how Elyza can be so cool and so dopey at the same time.

“Yes, Luv. I thought you’d never ask,” the dopey grin becomes a confident smile. And in a flash Elyza is kissing her again. The boat rocks slowly back and forth and Alicia takes in every second of Elyza’s touch. She feels a pit begin to open in her stomach. Not like anything she’s ever experienced. But she knows what it is. It’s similar to the shallow hole that she dug for Matt. The space that would slowly fill with her lust for him. But with Elyza it’s a wide gaping chasm that is filling so quickly she can’t keep up.

She presses hard into Elyza’s mouth. Passion taking over. And pushes her hips down. When Elyza lets out a stuttered whimper, Alicia growls with need. Elyza’s answering growl all but burns them both up. In an instant Alicia is on her back with Elyza planked above her. Consuming Alicia’s lips with her own.

Alicia is about to let their first time happen. About to remove both their clothes, all the barriers, and spend the rest of the already spent night showing Elyza just how much she wants her.

When another growl resounds, Alicia puts her fingers under the shoulders of Elyza’s tank top and begins to tug. She’s going to rip it off with her bare hands.

But then Elyza is laughing and Alicia quickly becomes confused. “What are you laughing at?” She says against Elyza lips.

“I think you’re hungry again.” Elyza pulls away and looks softly into Alicia eyes.

“you have no idea.” Alicia says, chasing Elyza’s lips

‘Not what I meant, Luv. That last growl didn’t come from me.”

“It didn’t come from my stomach if that’s what you mean,” Alicia says and then checks her memory. “At least I don’t think it did.” She pushes herself up on her elbows. “If it didn’t come from you and it didn’t come from me, where did it come from?”

She can see that Elyza is about make a smart ass comment when a loud thump and muted snarl on the deck sends them both into over drive.

“Shit. Speak of the undies and they will rise, just when I wanted yours to fall off.” Elyza is up on her feet in an instant grabbing a knife and a bat from the cache.

“So sauve, Lex.” Alicia says putting her shoes back on.

“You know it, babe.” Elyza says with a smile. She throws her leather jacket on and moves toward the ladder out of the cabin. She turns to Elyza just as she puts one foot on the first rung, “Stay here.”

“No.”

“What?”

“We’re girlfriends now. And according to your logic on post-apocalyptic relationships we’re basically married. So were in this shit together. For better or worse.”

Elyza’s smile is a bit out of place in this heightened moment, but it’s still calming and very much appreciated. “Very well, Luv.” She motions towards the weapons. “Pick your poison.”

Alicia selects a curved Knife with a heavy handle, as close to an Arahk as she can get, and joins Elyza at the foot of the ladder. “Lead the way, Luv,” Alicia says making Elyza’s smile stretch exponentially before she turns and climbs up the ladder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! An update just in time for FtWD! I give you permission to politely remind me next time i go 6 months without posting. Paintthebrain on tumblr. Thanks for sticking with this story!


	10. I'll Shoot, You Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alycia tries to make her first kill. Then some making out. Then some trying to get out. Alive.

Alycia is waiting at the bottom of the ladder with baited breath as Elyza opens the hatch just a crack.

“Well?” She whisper-yells upward.

She hears the hatch creak slightly with a shift in movement. Alica is sure that Elyza is rolling her eyes.

“Relax, Luv. It’s just the one. On deck.” Elyza turns her attention out of the crack again. “I can take him.”

Alycia swats at her ankle. “or I can.”

“or you can.” Elyza looks down her legs at her. “And I’ll distract it.” Alicia watches her weigh something internally. She opens and closes her mouth twice.

“What?” Alicia huffs. “Don’t think I can handle it?”

“No. It’s just…” Elyza lets the hatch set, one arm holding on to the top rung of the ladder, the other shoving her gun into her waistband. “It takes some getting used to. If you hesitate like you did with Trav…Like you did before… it could…”

“if I hesitate, just do it. I want to try, but I know this isn’t like hopscotch. I can’t just pick up the stone and try again. The stone will eat me before I ever get back to square 1.”

Elyza stifles a laugh. “Fair enough, Luv. On three then?”

Alicia nods succinctly.

“One, two….” Elyza pushes the hatch open with a loud bang. She’s out on the deck, yelling at the walking corpse like she was a school teacher and it was late for class for the 8th time. “Hey, Undie! You’ll never amount to much.”

 Alicia scurries up after her knife in hand. She’s on the deck rushing to the rotting back of the carcass. It’s posture slumped and right leg dragging behind it as it stretches its fingers towards Elyza. The knife is poised in her fist to come crashing through its skull just as she spots the gold glinting on the undead’s finger. A wedding band sloughed between layers of decaying flesh. She freezes. This was someone’s husband. Maybe someone’s father. Travis. Her father. The knife drops a few inches in elevation. She can feel tears stinging her eyes.

Elyza must realize what is happening. Faster than a whip, she brings her bat down on its skull.

Alicia stand there pulling in air to her lungs as fast as she can. Too human. It’s all too human. It was. She is. They are all so fragile.

She feels scared. She feels stupid.

Elyza wipes off the bat on the corpse’s tattered clothing and is at Alicia’s side in a second.

“It’s ok. You’re ok.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I told you it wasn’t easy. The first one is always the hardest.”

Alicia sighs. “I know they aren’t human anymore. I understand that. But I saw the wedding ring and…”

Elyza pulls her in.

Alicia tucks herself into Elyza’s leather jacket. “I forgot. These past few months. I forgot to be afraid. I forgot what happened to all these people. All these families. To my family.”

“It’s OK, Luv.”

“It’s not. I can’t do that again. Hesitate. I can’t lose my family.”

“They’ll be fine. You’ll take care of them like you always have.”

“I meant you.”

“Oh.”

Alicia can feels Elyza go rigid in her embrace. “Yea.” She pull back so that she can look Elyza in the eyes. “I don’t want our family, you and me, to be like my family. I don’t want it to be one-sided. You constantly take care of me like I care for them. I want to be able to protect you. To care for you. Equals. I don’t want to fail you. I want to be better.”

“We all have our origin stories, Luv. This is not yours. Not tonight. And that’s ok. We have plenty of time to turn you into an undie-slaying-badass.”

“You’re saying I’m not already a badass?”

“Badass? Yes.” She looks to the undead on the deck, before returning her gaze to Alicia and smiling. “Undie-slaying? No.”

Alicia pinches her.

“Ouch. Like I said, Luv. We’ve got time.”

“Oh yeah?” Pulling her in by the lapel of her jacket. Their lips are almost touching. “Teach me something then.” She demands suggestively.

Elyza wraps her hands around her waists and inches them lower before pressing their lips together. When Alicia feels Elyza’s tongue glide across her lips, she opens them and devours it. Kissing her for what feels like forever.

Until a dull roar fills her ears.

Wait.  Alicia feels that shift in the air again. The one from earlier. The one she thought was her epiphany. Was heralding change. It makes the hairs on the back of her neck go up. She quickly breaks the kiss and scans out across the water to the other dock. The Abigail is bobbing up and down unaware, but when her eyes trace the dock up to the marina, what she sees makes her stomach bottom out.

Elyza must feel this instinctively too, because as Alicia breaks the kiss Elyza spins towards the bow of the ship. Eyes scanning the moonlit marina. Even in the dim light they can see the wriggling dark mass of a horde bottle necking into the marina through the dirt road.

The entire narrow entrance to the marina is moving. Fluxing. Shifting. Alive with the dead. Their low growls.

Elyza turns back to her in a flash.

“Get to the Abigail.” She pulls out a wallet and quickly removes a piece of paper. “Just give them these coordinates. I’ll meet you there.”

“I’m not leaving you!”

Elyza stoops down and opens a hidden compartment under the captain’s chair. She pulls out a handful of flares and dumps them on the deck. “Just go. I’ll lead the hoard away. Don’t worry I’ll be fine.”

Alicia grabs her wrist. “How?” But she knows the answer before she finishes uttering the questions.

“Preparations.” They both chime together. Each smiling.

“Ok. This is stupid. But I trust you. And you better live or else.”

Eliza quickly pulls her in for a kiss. “Anything for you, Luv. Now go!”

Alicia takes off at a sprint as Elyza ducks back down into the cabin.

The next time Alicia looks back the hoard is between her and Polaris. But she catches a glimpse of blonde hair and a leather jacket running up the hill to the cliff with the mattress, carrying a munitions box. She hefts something awkward and cumbersome on to her shoulder as she lights and drops flares every few feet.

Daniel is already awake by the time Alicia reaches the gangplank of the Abigail. Pounding up it, she opens her mouth to deliver the news.

“I see them.” is all he says as he pulls a gun with a silencer from behind his back, picking off undead coming too close to their dock. The Polaris dock is over run with undead already. Alicia wants to turn back, run screaming towards Elyza. Instead she screams for her mother and strand and Ophelia and Nick.

She hears the crack of a rifle up on the cliff. A large portion of the horde following the trail of flares up the incline.

Strand is still in his silk boxers when he takes the helm. Nick is scrambling to weigh anchor. Her mother and Ophelia aim their guns at the stragglers that followed the sound of the Abigail’s thrumming engine.

“Where’s Elyza?” One of them asks. Alicia is not sure who. She’s too busy staring up into the darkness looking for any sign of Elyza. The rifle is still popping off which means Elyza is still alive.

“She stayed to lead them away. Said she’d meet us here.” She hands off the paper with the coordinates blindly.

“This is about an hour south of here.” Daniel says shoving the paper in his pocket with his free hand while the other continues to shoot at the undead.

Strand throws the throttle on and everybody on deck stumbles with the momentum. They are headed for the narrow opening between the two cliff faces when Alicia looks back at the marina and sees the undead falling off the docks into the water.

When she turns back around, she can see the wisps of dawn filtering through the crack ahead.

She hears yelling above her. Elyza. Alicia can’t make out the words. She looks for her. Searches, but they pass between the cliff faces and any hope of seeing her is lost.

As they break out into the daylight. Alicia registers Elyza’s words.

“It’s a trap.” She manages to mutter before the gunfire starts. The hoard was meant to flush them out.

They found them. The grounders found them.

 

 

 


	11. Run Quick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No fear the walking dead tonight. I hope this helps with the craving:
> 
> Alicia fights for her life. Elyza is a genius.

The first lungful of air is full of salt and ash and gunpowder. The air singes her skin. The water is oozing prismatic blobs of midnight as oil leaks from a nearby sinking ship. In a panic, Alicia squints her eyes through the haze. The dead ship is not the Abigail. And it’s not Polaris. It must belong to the grounders.

She’s not sure how she got into the water.

Alicia starts to swim but she doesn’t know where she’s swimming too. She doesn’t know if her family is alive let alone where they might be. And god Elyza. Why was that woman so bloody stubborn? She just should have stayed with her.

Alicia treads water for half a second deciding what to do, but then there’s a whizzing sound. And another. And drops of water spray her face. The brine clinging to her lips.

Through the large plume of smoke caused by the dying boat comes another one. It has an improvised metal skull sculpture on the front of the boat. It plows through the wreckage like a chainsaw through an apple. _Fucking grounders._

Another whizzing sound and a sudden shooting pain at the top of shoulder and base of her neck. Shit. Fucking shit. They’re still fucking shooting at her. 

She dives and swims through the blob of oil. Some of it clinging to her skin. The previous pain at the base of her neck multiplies a thousand fold. Almost too much to bear.

Great. Just great.

 It’s not like she needs to concentrate right now.

She’s hidden in the oil. Hard to see from the surface. But she can see the displacement of water from the hull of the skull boat speeding toward her current position. She watches it stop right above her just as she feels the need to breathe again.

She pops up stealthily at the side of the hull just long enough to grab a lungful of acrid smoke and see that there are more grounder boats than she can count before she dives again. She can feel the vibration of a barrage of bullets swimming along beside her like tiny metal sardines as she kicks her legs as hard as she can.

She heads for the sinking boat. Hoping for a pocket of air somewhere in the twisted carnage big enough to get her to shore. What then. There’s so many of them.

“Where did she go? Fucking find her! No one lives. Not after what they did.” Shouts a voice much like the bear of man she’d killed on the Abigail during her first encounter with the Grounders. But it can’t be him. Alicia watched Daniel turn his brain into a donut.

No one lives. Does that mean everyone else is dead?

She hides behind the wreckage and allows herself a moment of sorrow. For her family. For their peace.

“There! Over there!” Alicia knows they mean her. She’s about to dive again when one of the many boats explodes. A different metal sculpture of a misshapen skull blown wide apart. The men sent flying off the side on fire.

Alicia follows an organized line of blue smoke from the recently blasted boat to the cliff.

Through the roaring of the fire and the protesting waves Alicia hears another Grounder call out. “Forget about that boat. Get the girl!”

She’s about to look away when then the cliff explodes with sound and what appears to be a fire ball launches forward from it. The boat beside the other blows apart seconds later.

There are shouts and screams from wounded grounders. And orders being given from half a dozen men on the remaining boats. It’s amazing how much the chain of command breaks down in chaos. Perhaps that is why the military so dutifully put authority and orders above all else.

There is a second parabola of blue smoke. Alicia catches movement at the top of the cliff. A figure. She hopes. She wants to hope. It has to be her.

“RPG!” One of the grounder commanders shouts. “Get the fuck out of here!” With that all the men seem to decide that’s the best order to follow. It’s the familiar voice. The one that sounds like the dead man without a jaw.

With every sense she has left she searches for her.

Elyza.

There. The fissure. The one with all the mattresses. Alicia watches Elyza disappear into it. God Elyza is so smart. The foresight that it must have took to come up with an escape plan like this.

Except the fissure Elyza just disappeared into leads straight back into the marina. The marina still infested with undead all over it. She panics as she bobs in the wake of the grounder boats.

Through the gap between the cliff faces, the gap that was once their camouflage, their protection, she sees giant explosions. Flashes of flames bouncing of the walls. There is glass shattering. Metal screeching. Wood breaking.

Giant black clouds of smoke rise up and over the cliff.

Alicia watches as she clings to the side of a wreck. It just now occurs to her to look for the Abigail. But it’s nowhere in sight.

She hears a snarl beside her.

One of the grounders that was killed in the first explosion is starting to turn as it floats in the water. Alicia scrambles for a weapon. Patting her hands up and down the side of the boat for anything sharp. She gets to the front of the boat and the other dead Grounders are floating there, some of them already snarling and chomping.

Alicia weighs her options. She can take a deep breath and dive. She can swim away. Instead the sun catches the bow of the ship just right, reflecting all the little pieces of metal that made up the skull sculpture. She rips off the sharpest piece she can find and scrambles up the hull and out of the water.

She holds her defensive stance, watching as one by one all of the dead grounders open their grey eyes and see her. The predator instinct kicking in seconds after their rebirth. The one with limbs swim in zig zags toward her. Their legs and arms out of sync.

The first one finds the side of the boat and scrapes itself onto the hull. Alicia is there in an instant plunging the bit of metal into his skull without even thinking about it. It’s not a human. It’s not a husband or a father. It’s a predator and she is the prey.

Even if they were still alive.

It’s not easy. It’s not a game. It’s a truth. She’ll weigh this later.

Right now the horde, what’s left of it, is spilling out of the crevice that leads to the marina. The sheer mass of them tumbling on top of each other, the momentum pushing them toward Alicia.

She’s paying so much attention to the horde that she misses the three undead grounders that find their way to her sinking little island. The boat is further in the water. She has about 5 feet of dry surface to work with. She stabs at the one closest to her and misses. It snaps its teeth at her arm as it goes by, but Alicia is able to pull it back unscathed. The second one grabs her leg, pulling her down flat on her back while the third one, rips her into the ocean with it’s one good arm.

She feels the shrapnel, her weapon, slip from her fingers and sink.

She thrashes in the water pushing at any flesh she can find. Desperate gulps of air pull into her lungs. She going to die. She’s going to die. She’ll never see her family again.

She’ll never see Elyza again.

She’ll never get to call her Ely.

That renews her fight. She punches and kicks and screams and grunts. She fights for what feels like forever. Her hand slams down on to the hull with a wanton swing and she tries to find purchase anything to pull her out. Instead she finds and a gash in the hull, the gnarled metal slicing her palm open. She doesn’t have time to think about it or the wound on her neck as she uses her bloody palm to push away the face of one of the undead.

 Her feet thrash through the water trying to propel her upward, when it hits something hard and heavy, but with some give. A rope tied to the hull swings with movement.

Finally. A fucking break. She takes a deep breath and dives below the surface. Hands searching for the thing her foot hit. She watches the water’s surface like it’s a dream, distorted light and thrashing bodies. Her fingers wrap around the metal shaft she hoped she’d find. Trails them down the shaft until it splints into two blunt metal barbs. She can barely move it here, underwater. There’s no way she can wield this anchor like a weapon. She’ll have to fucking improvise.

She follows the rope up to the surface. The second she pops out of the water the undead are on her again. She quickly starts wrapping the rope around any body part that comes her way.

When the mass of bodies looks like a bunch of snarling tunas caught in a net, she takes the last bit of rope and pulls it across the gash in the hull severing it.

She has a moment to breathe as the anchor pulls some of the undead to the ocean floor with a cathartic slurp before she has to start fighting again.

She’s so tired.

A deafening crack fills the air. And then another.

Fuck. The Grounders are back and they’re shooting at her. Again.

She thinks it for a second until a head of one of the undead she’s fighting with bursts open. She whips her head around.

Elyza.

Elyza is on Polaris.

Elyza is on Polaris and she is covered in black blood.

Covered in blood, but alive. And holding her beloved sniper rifle.

Alicia could kiss that stupid face, blood or not.

A snarl. Oh yeah. She’s fighting for her life.

Except a few more gunshots later and all the undead are floating around her like they’re on the Lazy River ride at a water park.

Stupid Elyza. Stupid beautiful Elyza. And her stupid beautiful aim.

“Hey, Luv. Need a ride?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Click here to TUMBLE](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/paintthebrain) with me.


	12. in one piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited and it feels so good

Alycia throws a tired arm over the gunwale of Polaris, pulling herself up and over with waning strength. She hears the click click click of the crank being turned. The sails are fluttering and dropping.

Alycia plants two feet firmly onto the deck, water pooling around her boots, dripping from her clothes. Her wet flannel feels so much heavier than she ever anticipated. It all feels so heavy.

She rips the garment off and begins to ring it out. The midmorning sun soon begins to warm her skin. The clicking stops and Alycia looks up just in time to watch Elyza tie the sails down. Polaris continues to drift a few more feet even without its mainstays. Alicia takes in the sight of Elyza. Her blonde hair is tinted with dust and ash, her body covered in glutinous black blood. Relief spills through Alicia’s veins.

The second their eyes meet, both are off at a sprint.

Alicia doesn’t care about the blood. She kisses Elyza. She kisses her because she didn’t think she would again.

“I’m here.” Elyza says between kisses. “I’m here.” Another kiss. “I’m here.”

Alicia gets lost in it. The timbre of her voice. The vulnerability. The promise. I’m here. I want to be here. I won’t ever leave. And Alicia finally believes it.

She pulls back and rests her forehead on Elyza’s. The sticky black blood holding them together like twisted glue. Alicia pulls back further and begins to tenderly wipe Elyza’s face with her wet flannel.

Blue eyes stayed connected to hers and she continues to cleanse Elyza's skin. “I thought I lost you.” It’s barely a whisper. Barely a breath.

“It’ll take more than that.” Alicia says as a small smile grips her mouth.

Elyza chuckles. “Yea now that you’re an undie slaying badass.”

Alicia narrows her eyes. “I’ve always been a badass.” She says before kissing her again.

* * *

 

Alicia stares out into the darkened water.

Night came quicker than she thought.

After their reunion, Elyza wiped herself down further with Alicia’s wet flannel and insisted that Alicia shower and rest while Elyza took them further down the coast, away from the marina. The marina that had begun to feel like home.

She hears the whirl of the plumbing pulling water through pipes. She watches the crest and fall of the waves in front of her. Hoping that one plunge of the swell will reveal a light hidden behind the wave, a boat headed back to them. Somehow knows she won’t. They left her.

She knew this would happen someday.

She had planned on leaving them the first chance she got back before the apocalypse.

All she can think is 'What now?' Every plan she has ever made has fallen through.

The pipes squeal and the shower door opens and closes below deck.

Alicia concentrates on her breathing. Pulling air in and out of her lungs. Processing the past day. It’s getting easier. To just move on. Every day brings new trauma.

“Whatcha doing, Luv?” Elyza is towel drying her hair sitting on the hatch. Alicia was so lost in thought she didn’t even hear it open.

Every day brings the opportunity to heal.

Alicia smiles. She stands and crosses the few feet to the hatch. She pulls Elyza’s damp strands through her fingertips. “Wondering what to do next.” She says as she rests her hands on Elyza’s shoulders. She thinks about straddling her and kissing her stupid. But instead, she trails her fingers down Elyza’s arms, both sensuously and studiously, checking for any remnants of black blood. “Got it all off I see.”

Instantly, Elyza gets that sparkle in her eye. “I have other things I’d like to get off.”

Alicia slaps her arm playfully. “In due time.” She gives her a little peck on the cheek, before moving to the stern. She looks back and Elyza’s has a dazed smile on her face. She clears her throat, tossing an “Ahem” over her shoulder before asking, “How about instead of thinking me naked we think of what to do next.”

Elyza opens her mouth. Alicia can see the cocky remark about what she wants to do locked and loaded. Alicia turns fully around. “Don’t even think about it.”

Elyza purses her lips and narrows her eyes. “Fine, Luv. But you set yourself up so easily.”

‘”What’s next part of the plan, jackass? ”

“Always so sweet.”

“You love it.”

Elyza’s smile is a thousand watts of happiness. Alicia can see a slight tilt forward of Elyza’s head. Like she was going to immediately confirm it but thought better of it. Still, the smile remains.

Elyza stands and joins her at the stern. Polaris continues to bob, in open water. The easiest way to see anyone coming. Alicia leans back against the railing. Elyza spreads her arms to either side of her and leans in to kiss her. Alicia welcomes it greedily, but Elyza withdraws before anything more comes of it.

Elyza turns Alicia in her arms so they are both facing the ocean. She rests her chin on Alicia's shoulder, while the wind mingles their hair together like a chocolate vanilla swirl. Alicia knows Elyza is thinking. Swiping through her thoughts.

“Well, we could continue on to the coordinates,” Elyza mumbles it into her shoulder. “Meet your family.”

Alicia pulls a stray hair from her lip and tries to tuck it behind her ear to no avail. It whips across her eyelid. She slams her hands down on the railing, blowing a think puff of air out through pinched lips.

“Need some help, Luv?” Elyza reaches up to tame Alicia's hair, but the brunette pulls away still rigid with frustration. “I’m guessing this is about more than just flyaways?”

Alicia huffs and moves further away.

“Wanna talk about it?” Elyza allows Alicia to set the boundary.

Alicia doesn’t mean to keep putting her at a distance. But it’s what she knows. “I always thought I would be the one to leave them.”

Elyza tilts her head and pushes back her own flyaways with a thumb. “What do you mean?”

“They just fled.” She leans over the railing again. Seeing, in her mind, the white dot of the Abigail as it sped toward the horizon.  She finally turns to Elyza, her eyes glassy with unshed tears, trying to hold back the waves.

Elyza moves to her side. “Luv?” She stands, still waiting to comfort her. Pausing for permission.

Alicia threads her index finger through Elyza’s pinky. She dips her head as her voice breaks. “They left me.”

“Oh, Luv.” ELyza dips her head to catch her eye. “Is that what you think?”

Alica finally looks up. She gives a stark nod as a tear finally escapes.

“That’s not what I saw.” Elyza fully entwines their fingers with one hand while the other brushes light against Alicia's cheek, pulling the tear away.

Alicia finally connects their eyes. “What? What did you see?”

“Not a lot. I was pretty busy what with blowing up undies and all. But I don’t think I could miss the prettiest girl she’s ever seen jump from a boat to be with me.”

“I did what?!”

“When the bullets started flying you just pointed at me. Ran to the edge of the boat. Your mother tried to stop you. Strand. Daniel. They all tried. Ophelia army crawled over to you and grabbed on to your ankles. But you pointed again and put one leg over the side. Nick, he stopped you. He grabbed your shoulders. You kissed him on the cheek, smiled, and then jumped.”

“Oh.” Alicia stares at Elyza in wonder. “I chose you.”

“Yea, I guess so.” Elyza scratches at her neck. “Do you – I mean – do you regret it?”

Alicia clenches her jaw. “Yea.”

Elyza looks like she’d just been punched.

“But not for the reason you think. I couldn’t regret any part of you…of us.” Alicia is the one to comfort this time. She pulls their enlocked fingers until Elyza’s hand is on her waist. Alicia rests her arms on Elyza’s shoulder. She nuzzles Elyza until she feels a smile blossom across her cheeks. “I’ve known for a little while now, that if it came down to it, I would choose you without even thinking about it.” She pulls back and places a sweet peck on Elyza’s lips. “I regret that I had to choose.”

Elyza smiles and pulls her in for another kiss. It starts soft but pretty soon it’s all crest and trough. Like waves coming home to shore. Alicia feels the sensation grip her like high tide. Pushing her further and further into Elyza. Her lips create a template of want across the wiry bands of muscle at Elyza’s throat. Fingers grasp at blonde locks pulling Elyza’s head back and exposing more of her neck. Alicia feels her whole body trembling with those three words.

A moan, coming out like a deep song, vibrates her lips as she continues her assault on Elyza’s pulse point.

Her fingers inch up Elyza’s abdomen and stop just below the swell of breasts. Elyza takes a deep breath, the air pulling across Alicia’s face.

“I’m sorry you had to choose, Luv.” Elyza lays her hand over Alicia’s where it floats precariously below her breast. “I’m not sorry I still have you.” She slides their hands down and entwines their fingers. “So what do you want to do?” Elyza looks away with a sweet sheepish smile.

Alicia half exclaims that she wants to keep doing what they were just doing. But instead she smiles in return and let’s their hands swing between them. She loves this Elyza, the exposed and coy sugarlump Alicia never saw coming.

“I guess we have to look for a new home.”

“Did you give the coordinates to your family?”

“Yea.”

“Do you want to try to wait for them?”

Alicia thinks for a moment. What would be the point? Her duty? Her honor?

“Before you answer.” Elyza breaks away from her and moves to the captains chair. She pulls out a map from the compartment underneath. “I have a plan.”

Alicia laughs because really of course elyza has a plan. She feels silly for not trusting Elyza with them before. “I’m sorry for all those times I got upset at you for your ‘preparations’. They saved my life.”

Elzya gets that cocksure smile. “Well with these preparations I’m hoping to build us a new life.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I don't update this very often. It's low priority as far as writing projects go right now. I'm working on stuff to submit to publishers. This fic is very genre and world specific so it cannot currently be adapted into a novel or short story. Someday I'll probably expand on it, turn it into an original piece, maybe create new zombie lore. Maybe closer to Fallout 4's lore. I write fanfic when I am blocked on my other projects and since that is bound to happen every so often, this fic will update. Slowly. But it will update.
> 
> As always thanks for being here! You are wonderful.


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